happy anniversary.... :)

3 years.... it feels a lot longer than that (in a good way!). I absolutely love my Quenton! Last year he was working in Weyburn, so we didn't get to celebrate together until later. This year he was working late, so even though we were planning on going out for dinner (thanks Theron and Renee for offering to watch Hazel!), we ended up staying in and watching a movie. We had yummy alfredo noodles with ham, and brownies with ice cream. I had to be careful of the brownies (poor Hazel), but it was a good night. :) Quenton had flowers delivered (my favourites) and it was nice to just spend a relatively quiet evening together. This year has been so wonderful together! A trip to Costa Rica, family get togethers, and most importantly, our little Hazel. Quenton is the best husband I could have asked for. What a support he has been to me, and seeing him as a father has made me love him even more. He's the kind of dad I always wanted for my kids. Hazel is pretty lucky!
We watched "Hereafter" last night. What a good movie! I don't remember seeing any previews for it, but I'm glad we rented it. Funny, for being a movie that questions what happens after we die, it had me thinking a lot about how I want to live my life. Even today, after talking with my friend, I started to think about what was really important. Here are some things I've come up with:

1. You are responsible for you. Everyone is accountable for their own actions and decisions, so don't feel guilty for their mistakes.

2. Do what makes you happy. Life isn't about pleasing others. You need to do what is best for you, and what will bring you closer to the Savior, even if that goes against what others think.

3. Eat cake. or brownies. or whatever you feel like indulging in. Just be smart about it.

4. Love everyone, and make sure your children know it. Your love will help to shape their tomorrows.

5. It's ok to hold your kids often. They might not always want you to.

6. It's ok to take time for yourself. I say that as a woman and as a mother, because I hear that a lot from other mothers.

I don't know a lot, but I know about wasting time worrying about what I can't change. Spring is here, and getting rid of the old doesn't just apply to my storage room anymore. The last 3 years have been amazing with my husband, the last 5 months with Hazel have been some of the happiest in my life, and I look forward to the best that is yet to come. :)

bumbling idiot....

so I went to a baby shower tonight (loved it!). I was late, as per usual. Man, I can't seem to time or schedule my life very well these days. Anyway, I noticed something tonight. Normally I feel that I can have a fairly coherant conversation, and join in on what's going on pretty easily. However, I think that due to the fact that I stay at home and don't interact with people like I used to, my communication skills are dumb. Seriously, I felt that I had so many things I wanted to talk to friends about, and things that I wanted to share with the new mom (not that important) and I couldn't form my sentences! What I thought in my head wasn't coming out right through the hole in my face. I kind of laughed at myself in the van on the way home because I thought of myself as the mom who couldn't get enough of being around others. (not that that's bad...) I even said that I am a Facebook stalker. Who says that?? :) sigh, one day I'll be normal again. I kind of miss the days of being a young single adult only because I felt like I could talk to anybody and got out of the house all the time. Having said that, I love being married and being a mom.
Anyway, I don't get out too often because it's too cold and to try and schedule things so I have enough time to do what I want before H needs to eat again is sometimes not really worth it. I want to change this, but it might not happen until it warms up outside.
But it was nice to see familiar faces, and a few new ones too. I recognized everyone, and had so many memories come to my mind. It was so nice. Even if I put my foot in my mouth and was nonsensical (is that even a word? ) At least Hazel was a great baby while we were out. :) To those who were there, it was so nice to see you (seriously), and I hope I didn't come across as too crazy. :) the end.

kind of boring....

so, I've been wanting to post something new for a while, but nothing new has happened. I thought Hazel and I would get out to do some shopping, but that didn't work out. I seem to have high expectations of what I want to accomplish for the week, and have found that that's not always a good idea. Yesterday was a pretty good day; I got the dishes all done, vacuuming done, all Hazel's clothes washed, dried and put away, and I had a great day with little H. This last week I baked 2 cakes, a berry crisp and a loaf of bread. I don't think today will be as productive, though. I normally like winter, but right now I think it sucks. :) I would love to take Hazel out for a nice walk outside, but until I can see the sidewalks and the temp is in the  positive double digits, that isn't going to happen. I'm not one to go to the mall just to walk around, so brief outings will have to do for now.
I'm kind of excited for Valentine's Day. :) Quenton and I have always bought eachother books instead of chocolates, so we'll be going Saturday to pick out what we want. Normally we won't go together to buy the books, but we've kind of waited till the last minute. I think I'm going to look for a nice recipe to make Quenton a good Valentine's dinner for Monday. Any suggestions?
Hazel has been pretty good this last week. She rolls from her back to her side, and although that might not be a big deal, I think it's pretty exciting! We're getting her into a good bedtime routine, and instead of keeping her in her sleepers all day, I'm getting her dressed in a cute outfit. She might as well get some good use out of what she has before she's too big!
Life isn't super exciting here at the White house, but it's good.

what a week!

so this week has been a rough one. lack of sleep and stress over everything has led to an unhappy me. however, it's ended on a high note. Quenton and I went on a dinner date last night and it was wonderful :) We left Hazel with Theron and Renee and, although I was super nervous and sad about leaving her, our evening was nice and relaxed. Dinner was great and the conversation was awesome. I love my husband!

this is us after dinner on our way to pick up little H.

Hazel is sure growing! She's 3 1/2 months now, and although I don't know her weight, I know she's got to be in the high percentiles for her age. :) I love my chunky monkey. She's also decided to start sucking her thumb. :) I know that can lead to problems when she's older, but for now it soothes her and if I don't have to worry about finding her soother every 10 minutes, I'm ok with that. Her sleep schedule is pretty up and down, but after talking to a few friends I've decided not to worry so much. I'll just keep sleeping when she sleeps so I'm prepared for long nights if I have to. She started sucking on her fist for a long time, but I guess her thumb snuck in and she's been hooked ever since :)

On another note, I'm getting together with my sisters and my mom in February for a little get away. It's just at my parents' house, but it'll be fun just to have some girl time and for all our kids to spend time together. I think this is something we're going to try to do every year, which will be nice. :)

so after a week that I don't really want to repeat, I have tools to use to make next week better. I'm so thankful for good friends who were prompted to lend an ear, shoulder, and even a few tips this last week. Heavenly Father must love me enough to know what I need especially when I don't ask for it.

lately......

so I've talked to a few people about when to have a second baby (not to tell me when to have one, just to hear their opinion). Some would want to wait (forever, if they could), and some like to space their kids out18 months to 2 years apart. Thinking about when to have another baby is really exciting. :) I have soooooo many friends who are expecting this year that it's getting me baby hungry again! I think that some see that as wierd, but I'm not getting any younger. I had a good pregnancy with Hazel and a good delivery as well, so I don't think that we'll be spacing our kids out (by choice, that is...). This isn't an announcement, but just thoughts that I've had. :)
Does anyone else have issues with their weight? Baby or no baby? For the most part I haven't really cared so much since Hazel was born, just because as long as she's healthy that's all that matters. But, I'm starting to get tired of wearing maternity clothes because I'm in between sizes. I'm not as heavy as I was before I was pregnant with her (so those clothes don't fit), but I don't want to buy new clothes until I've lost a little more weight. I guess I feel a little stuck because I want to spend time working out here at home, but it just hasn't happened. I guess it's something that's hard for me to get into. I hate feeling awkward in what I'm wearing, but have no options. I try not to vocalize my displeasure regarding my own weight, but it's just been weighing on my mind a lot lately. When Hazel is awake, I love to spend time talking to her and playing with her, and when she's asleep I either sleep too or try to catch up on other things. It's definitly easier to work out with someone, but I've noticed that I've been quite a home-body since Hazel's been around. I've always had weight issues so this is starting to feel like the stumbling block of my life, but I still feel like the slump will end and I'll be out there running with the best of them. :) (I'm sure I'll post that on here whenever it happens!)
Anyway, little Hazel is now 3 1/2 months old, and cooing, smiling, grabbing our fingers and everything that's close to her. :) She is growing so much, and I can't believe it! She's such a good baby, and I feel blessed every day to have her. She's had some REALLY good nights for sleeping (8-9 hours three times in a row), so I'm hoping that she is starting some sort of pattern. I am SO lucky to have her, and to have Quenton in my life too. He's been such a lifesaver, especially on days when I'm struggling with a lack of sleep and he'll make dinner when he gets home. He is my rock, and a natural dad :) I love watching him cuddle with Hazel and now seeing her recognize him more.
My family is amazing. I am a fortunate woman. :)

sad day....

so Hazel and I were having a pretty good day. Just relazing and talking. :) it was getting close to when Quent would be off work, and Hazel had just woken up from our nap. In the past, I've laid her on the couch with a pillow to block her from the edge, so I figured I'd do that again so I could quickly go to the bathroom before she ate. While I was gone I suddenly had a feeling that I'd hear her cry, and no more than a few seconds later, that's exactly what I heard. It was a scared, sad, where's-my-mom kind of cry, so I ran into the livingroom to find my baby on the floor. :( :( :( I was SO sad and so sorry that I had not protected her. Even in writing this it's difficult to hold back tears. I just held her and told her how sorry I was and cried with her (even though she was done a lot sooner than I was). My daughter is so tough. Not that I feel like testing her, but it seems that when traumatic things happen to her, she's pretty resilient.
It amazes me how much of your heart belongs to your children. I would do absolutely anything for my girl, and I really feel like I let her down today. :( I know, it happens to every child, but I still feel awful. I think she's forgotten everything already, but I'll remember. Oh well, at least she can't hold it over my head when she grows up, right? Here's to lessons learned in parenting.

I can do it :)

I love my baby girl. :) Right now I'm sitting on the couch, exhausted and gross, but I have her sleeping on my arm. Trying to get her back into some sort of routine has been alright, but I'm starting to feel it. I've had interrupted sleep, I haven't showered in days, but I don't mind. Sometimes she gets fussy while I'm eating lunch or dinner (especially), and I end up eating a cold plate after calming her down, but I don't mind. I can't count the number of times that I'm just crawling into bed when she starts to fuss, wake up, and want to eat. I've had a couple of 7-8 hour night's sleep, occaisionally 5-6 hours, but mostly 4 hours or less at a time. I haven't been able to start anything and finish it in the same day because she needs me. And I don't mind! I love taking care of my Hazel. I love feeling needed by her, and I love knowing that in so many situations I am the only one that she wants. If I never ate a hot meal again or had a long hot shower because I needed to take care of my daughter, I am more than happy to do it. :) Sometimes it would be nice to have my mom here to watch her at 3am so I can catch a quick 30 minute nap, but Quenton and I love the challenge. I never feel that being a parent is hard. A little exhausting, but not hard. This is why we're here, isn't it? I will never understand parents who habitually pass their kids off to their parents/family so they can do what they want. I could never pass Hazel off for someone else to take care of her. I'm sure that'll probably change when she's running around and getting into everything, but for now she's just my little angel. I think I've become a little overprotective of her (maybe an understatement) lately. Oh well. I'm her mom, so I don't care :)