baby and not so baby.....

so I guess this baby can come anytime now :) I had a check-up on Monday, and I'm about 1cm dilated. I know that some women can be dilated for a while before they go into labour, but I'm hoping that I'll have this baby maybe on the weekend? 4 days before Hazel was born I wasn't dilating at all, so if that's any indication (which it might not be) I shouldn't have to wait too long for this little one to come :) My appointment got me a little excited for baby to finally get here!

On another note, Hazel is officially in NURSERY!!!

I can't believe she's even old enough or big enough to be there. I had mixed feelings leaving her there. I almost started crying, to tell you the truth. But, she was a trooper and didn't cry or even seem like she needed me. That was fine, but at the same time I was maybe hoping that she would miss me because then I could take her with me and she could need me forever. But, again, she was a trooper and didn't even want to leave when it was time to come home. When did she grow up? There's a part of me that wants her to stay my little baby girl forever, but I know that she has so much potential for her future. It's hard not to want her all to myself. She has such a big piece of my heart, and every milestone in her life will be so special to me.

And now I get to prepare to give another piece of my heart to this baby and to do it all over again.

I can't wait. :)

warning --- is Debbie Downer in the room?

so after a number of posts that never made it to viewers' eyes, here's hopefully an attempt that will make it. I feel like a walking zombie. I know, I should be going to bed earlier, but I think I want to soak in as much "me" time, or even time with Quenton, as possible while Hazel is sleeping and baby #2 is still cooking. I love that time, but from the moment Hazel wakes up in the morning (between 7-7:30) until her nap (normally around noon, or earlier depending on how she slept and when she woke up) I can probably be found dozing off on the couch while I'm a terrible mom and have a Disney tv show on to keep H occupied. I cannot believe that I allow myself to even contemplate sleeping, even for 5 mins, while she roams free. (a little consolation- she can't get into the kitchen or down the stairs, so she's pretty limited in where she can get into trouble)

When did this happen? If I can't handle her busy mornings when I'm exhausted just from being pregnant, how can I handle it when there's another little one to care for? Some times I just feel like putting up an ad on facebook or somewhere asking for someone to just come and sit with me on the couch so I can nap without feeling like Hazel is completely ignored. But I don't ask for help. Ever. Because that would require some humility, I suppose, and I would feel like I needed to clean my house (which I don't have the energy for at the moment). So, I sleep. and Hazel gets to watch more tv than I had even planned for her to. Let me also say that the times my mom has been here has been the worst! Not that i don't like visiting with her, but she's wanted to be productive and get things done, but I just DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO IT. So I relax on the couch. And feel a little gratitude towards this little one who is my excuse for being lazy.....

How do other moms do it? I wanted to be a little crafty, a little more organized, but can't seem to get there. I wish Quenton wasn't working this stupid 10 day shift. I'm running on fumes right now, and feel like if I could get a nap in, then I'd have the energy to clean my kitchen and do whatever I needed to do. But, I'll have to wait until Friday, I guess.

Is this enough whining, I wonder? Probably. Sorry about that. I just feel like an emotional basket case now adays, and with restless nights, long days, and no end in sight, it's hard not to want to vent now and then.

On a brighter note, only 3 weeks and 2 days left! I don't look forward to the continuation of my lack of sleep, but at least I'll be more comfortable then than I am right now. This baby is beating me up! Must be a boy, right? ;)

2 to 1

so, for 3 years we had both Buddy and Sugar, brother and sister, black lab/collies, and a welcomed part of our family. I'm sure that there were some that questioned what we were doing getting TWO dogs at once :) Trust me, there were days when I thought the same thing! 

Anyway, once Hazel came into the picture, I started feeling a little overwhelmed with having the dogs as well. We were still kind of in the process of training them, and with Buddy being the difficult one, Sugar would sometimes feed off of him. It made for some pretty frustrating days!

Anyway, last month we decided to put both dogs up on Kijiji, just to see if anyone was interested. I figured that having two kids plus the two dogs would be too much for me, so we planned on at least finding a good home for Buddy, and see how things went with Sugar. We ended up finding a family of 5 who lived on an acreage who were interested in Buddy. So, the dad and his one daughter came in to town to see Buddy, and within an hour he had a new home. We felt really good about where he was going, and know that he's getting the attention that he needs. 

Sugar took about a week to adjust to being here by herself, but she's been great! She's more calm, and definitly more obedient (she always was the better listener!). I love having her around, so she's not going anywhere. I don't regret getting a dog, even two. It's been a great learning experience, and I think there'll be positive results having our kids around Sugar.

Having said that, I'm not looking forward to cleaning our back yard after a winter of having two dogs back there! (good thing Quenton volunteered for the job!!!)

partner with brown? pattern or solid?

so, we painted our bedroom.

again.

but this time we actually like it :)

Before, we actually ended up with a "peachy" looking colour that was NOT what we were wanting. So, we decided that if we were going to paint, it needed to be done before the baby arrives. We ended up with a tawny brown colour (I'll put up pictures asap), and now the question is, what to put with it? I'm thinking that I'll just sew some curtains, and buy a new duvet with some throw pillows for our bed. So, now I just need to decide what accent colour to use? I was thinking blue, since it goes nicely with brown, but is there some other colour that would look better?

After I choose a colour, I then need to decide on patterns. Do I use a pattern for my curtains and a solid for the duvet, or vice versa? hmmmm. Even though I haven't concluded much yet, I'm excited to get started! If you have any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to accept them! :)

7.

seven.

lucky number? no, not really.

the number of people in my immediate family (sibs and parents).

most importantly, the number of weeks I have until this little bundle arrives.

seven.

I went shopping with Hazel yesterday for clothes for both my kiddies (so weird saying that......) and it got me kind of excited. :) First, I love getting Hazel clothes. More than getting myself clothes, at the moment! I mean, she's cute on her own, just in a diaper, but putting her in cute jeans, or a sweet little summer dress is just that much cuter! So, that alone was pretty fun. :) Second, I went looking through boy section since I've been thinking this is going to be a boy (but if not, then I'll have something for when we do have one), and I was getting excited :) Baby boy clothes are super cute!! It helped me realize how close we really are to having this little miracle in our family. I can't wait!

This month is going to be the month to get all the things "baby" labelled ready; washing baby clothes, sewing blankets, preparing the cradle and setting everything up. Next month is everything else; frozen meals, maternity pics, relaxing, possibly shaving my legs (seriously, not as easy or worth it at the moment).

On another note, having bronchitis/sinusitis while pregnant is NOT fun. Yay for modern medicine. :) Oh, and I'm going to post pics of Hazel up soon. Cause she's just too cute to NOT brag about.

a-ha moments......

I've been doing a lot of reminiscing lately about different events in my life, and although there are some things I would change, most I wouldn't. :) It did help me decide, however, that I not only need to be thinking about the future, but to prepare as well. Now, I'm not necessarily one for just living in the moment, but whenever I look at Hazel, I think that there are so many things that I want to do for her to help her live the best life.

We had the missionaries over last night, and we were talking about contacting and sharing the Gospel with friends and neighbours. I remember as a missionary how easy I believed it was to share something that I loved so much. I've discovered, however, it's a little more daunting than I remembered! Anyway, Quenton and I have decided that we need to make more of an effort, especially so we can show our kids how important missionary work is. I want them to love the Gospel as much as I do, and I really feel like this year will be a great year for us and missionary work :)

I've also dealt with post-partum depression, and feel that being around friends and performing service will help me to overcome some of the obstacles that come with PPD. I know there's a lot more that I can be doing (whether it's meds, councelling or whatever), but I want to see what I can do about preventing some symptoms before they happen. I know some girls who have had PPD with their pregnancies as well, so I'll probably turn to them for advice. :)

I need to say, too, how much I love my family. Not just my own little family, but my siblings and parents. I have felt for a long time that I'm different from my family members, and that I don't have as much in common with them as I used to, but all of that aside, I love them. There have been some things that have happened recently that have made me really think about what's important, and family is right up there. I haven't always felt that I could forgive past wrongs, but I read a talk President Faust gave in May 2007 called "The Healing Power of Forgiveness" that has really struck a chord with me. I think sometimes it's harder to forgive and move on than I would like, but if the goal in this life is to be as happy as we can, we need to do the hard stuff. Family is worth it. Eternity is worth it. Our happiness depends on it.

a little help :)

so I was talking to a good friend the other day, and we were discussing children. Going from 1 to more than 1 sometimes seems like a daunting task, so K sent me a link to a blog we've both followed. After I read it, I felt like I could do this :) I highly recommend this for anyone expecting their second, third, or even fourth baby. :)

Thanks, friend! :)