ok, so first let me say that I'm sure some of you will read this and think it's no big deal, or maybe I need to toughen up. Yup, this was a stressful day.
First, Quenton has been working nights this week which means he normally leaves for work around noon-ish and doesn't get home until after 11pm. Normally that's not a big deal, but today was super busy. I'm the Activity Leader in Primary and we meet every first and third Thursday (tonight), and we were doing a painting craft. Anyway, I had to do some last minute running around this morning to get the rest of what I needed for tonight, plus getting a couple things for lunch (we invited a friend who is getting married tomorrow to come over). While I was out, I got a message from the lady who helps out at the activities telling me that she couldn't make it tonight. Normally, not a big deal, but with Quenton working at night, I needed to bring Hazel with me. (stress level rising) **side note, yes, I probably could have found someone to watch Hazel for the 2 hours, but 1) I didn't figure this all out until it was almost too late, and 2) I don't really know anyone available and who I trust. **
Oh yeah, and since I had no helper tonight, I realized when I got home that I would also have no paint brushes. (stress level rising even more....) SO, I needed to feed Hazel an hour early, load the van with all the supplies, go to the dollarstore, pick up the brushes, drive to the Church, bring Hazel and all the supplies in, get set up, and do a PAINTING craft with my toddler playing sometimes and wanting my attention sometimes (with a sad look on her face). THEN, at one point, because I needed to go and look for someone and was going to be quick, I left Hazel in the room with the girls and when I returned she was crying uncontrollably because she thought I had left her and she couldn't find me. :( :( :( I held myself together, but promised myself that I'd give her some extra cuddle time when we got home.
After carrying all my belongings and loading up the van (again), we finally got home (where I also had to deal with 2 dogs that hadn't eaten and 1 is a big fat whiner). I put her in her pjs, and gave her some milk. She seemed just fine, and went to bed without a fuss, and I think she even enjoyed the extra cuddles.
Yes, I shed some tears; some of frustration, and some of sadness at having Hazel upset that I left her. I know, I know, things will be different when there's another little one around, and I know that Hazel will have to get used to not getting all the attention. I don't think she's spoiled at all, and I know that there are billions of women who have to multitask like this all the time and don't complain. I just needed to get it out, and now I'm better. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Especially for difficult days that remind me of what's important and how to improve myself for the future.
yup. now I feel better.
4 comments:
Sorry you had such a rough day. If you ever need a babysitter just give me a call, I would help in an instant!
Don't be hard on yourself at all. When I was pregnant with my second and my first was still so young I had so many days just like that where I felt completely stressed and overwhelmed. Brought back a few memories reading this! For me having two babies to care for on the outside has always been so much easier (not sure why but I know pregnancy hormones played a huge role in it for me). Dragging a baby to the store while pregnant is one of the hardest things, even when you are just getting something real quick.
Hope the rest of your week picks up! *hugs*
any combination of kids and errands, stresses me out.
That's the hardest thing I think of having more than one kid, is always feeling like SOMEONE is being neglected.
Levi's starting to get really attached, cry every time I leave the room too (must be the age)...just getting ready to make the nursery transition fun right?
Oh, hugs! You are doing so well! It can be so hard to look after a littley when you are pregnant let alone with the extra stress levels. It sounds like you did really well thoUgh. You don't have to be perfect, as long as you're enough. Love you.
I would have been stressed too! Then again, I did cry the other day because I couldn't put the duvet cover on the duvet properly and it was lumpy. I'm not such a fan of pregnancy hormones!
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