one annum

so here we are, a whole year in the marriage business, and still happy and looking forward to the next year! We went out to the Olive Garden for dinner on Saturday since our anniversary was Sunday. That's where Q took me the night he proposed. :) Anyway, we had a great time just talking about this last year and thinking about this next year. We've done a lot and have been through a lot this last year, and, good or bad, we've been grateful for it. I'm so fortunate to have such a wonderful husband who is so willing to do whatever it would take to make me happy. I know that there would be no one else that could be so matched to me, and who would compliment me like he does. We talked about how comfortable it felt ever since we went on our first date, and how we both knew that eventually we'd end up together. :) What a wonderful year it's been!!!! I feel so blessed to have my wonderful husband and to have been able to go through so many things with him. We've had so much fun together and I can't imagine how great the next years will be. :)

Frustrating day....

So Quent and I bought some furniture on Thursday, and we were SOOO excited to get it today! We bought a loveseat and sofa with a coffee table and 2 endtables. The loveseat and sofa were to be delivered today and the rest not until May, which was fine. We just wanted something nice and new and comfy to sit on. Anyway, we got a call this morning around 8am from the delivery guy saying that he'd be here between 10 and 12. We have church at 11, so we thought we'd maybe miss an hour. By about 12:20pm we were wondering where our furniture was. We called the Brick and spoke to a lady who said she'd call the driver to see where he was. She said she'd call us back, and when she did (around 1pm) she told us that the delivery guy (the first one) saw our address and said that it wasn't in his area, so he gave our furniture to another driver. The second driver, though, didn't realize this until he was already out of the city. There apparently was no way for him to come back to our street, so all they could do was refund our delivery fee. THEN, when I continued to talk to the lady she told me that our sofa was actually here in the city, so we wouldn't have to wait until May for it. I asked what she meant (because we weren't waiting for the furniture, just the coffee table and end tables) and she said that our sofa was delivered to the city and we would be able to pick it up. Of course I was so upset since we thought that having to wait for one of our sofas wasn't going to be a problem. Anyway, to end this stupid frustrating story, we didn't get our furniture today and they say they'll deliver it on Tuesday. I've not heard many good things about The Brick, so I'll believe it when they come to my door. Needless to say we missed church and spent most of the day waiting and arguing on the phone. Not my idea of a good Sabbath day.

luck of the irish?

So here we are in a new month. We decided to get a dog (although our landlord had changed his mind so we had to make alternate arrangements --- still getting the dog) because we figured if we aren't getting pregnant we might as well raise something that's living. :) I think this dog will be therapeutic in helping both of us heal and move forward. Plus, we've both always wanted a dog and now we finally have a chance to own one.
It was my dad's birthday yesterday and so I've been doing a lot of thinking about him. He's one of the most amazing people I know. He will do anything for pretty much anybody, and he's one of the best role models I have. There are days when I miss him a ton, and I'm glad that we live close enough that we can visit the 'rents in good ol' Wainwright.
We're hoping that this month will be lucky for us; visit mom and dad, Quenton will find a job in his field, you know, the usual. At least it's the beginning of the end of winter. And our first anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks. I can't believe we've been married almost a year! Where does the time go? Maybe we'll take a fun trip this summer. Who knows? One thing that's kind of exciting for me is that I lost 2 1/2 lbs and, like 3 inches or something like that. Let's hope that's the beginning of many great things to happen.

Fine.

Ok. So could I be any MORE of an emotional indecisive person? February went well. I worked out when I could, Quenton and I have been diligent in studying the scriptures daily and family prayer, my job is working out well scheduling with my classes. We have both been feeling sooooo good about everything. It was nice to feel positive about some things, whether it was spiritual, financial, personal, or just having a clean home. I guess I enjoyed the good feeling in our home since we had decided to change some things. It was a nice change. :)
So, after talking with Q about starting a family, he helped me see that I had been placing so much pressure on every little thing that I was doing upon myself. I was under the impression that me getting pregnant rested solely on the things that I was doing; praying, studying, attitude, cleanliness, even working through personal issues in my life (past and present) so that I had no ill feelings, no regrets, nothing that would make me think that I would be less than the best mother I could be if we were lucky enough to have a baby. Well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the expectation. I'm tired of thinking that everything I do actually has an effect on whether I get pregnant or not. It's exhausting and by the end of the month both Q and I are emotionally drained. I have come to the conclusion that none of what we're doing is really going to make any difference. Not that I think what we're doing is for nothing, but I'm tired of feeling like I've failed. So, we've decided that we're going to take a trip and do things for us. Whatever we want. Enough of waiting around for something that clearly isn't going to happen soon. So we're going to have fun and enjoy every moment we have together. Does that mean that I'm ok with being "barren" for the moment? No, I'm not. But there's not much I can do about it, so the thing that makes me the happiest is being with my husband and doing things for us. It's about time.