Monday, November 22, 2010

thoughts lately....

so, I thought I was immune to have rough nights with my beautiful girl, but that was not to be. Everything has been pretty good. I don't really mind the late nights as long as Hazel isn't upset or sad. That has got to be the hardest thing for me to deal with. Last night, for example, she was fussy for whatever reason, and my heart was breaking for her. I know, I know, lots of babies get fussy, and it's not the end of the world, but I felt like such a terrible mom, seeing my little girl so upset. In the end, she just needed to cuddle with her mom, and I rocked her and she was fine. Her mom wasn't fine, though. I would do anything for Hazel, and when I don't know what to do, I feel sad. :(  Tears were shed, hugs were given, and then we were all ok. I know it'll take a few months to get into a routine, so for now whatever she needs, she'll get, whenever she needs it.
Can I just say again how amazing it feels to have this much love for someone I just met? Quenton and I were talking last night about how being able to have a family brings the happiness that Heavenly Father wants for us. I know that if we weren't able to have children ourselves, we would probably adopt, so having Hazel has been such a blessing.
I've been at home mostly, and even though I've been able to get out a bit with Hazel, either to run errands or visit friends, I totally don't mind being cooped up here. I mean, it's been a little chilly outside, so who doesn't want to avoid the cold!?! I don't mind having visitors, but for the most part I like just having some bonding time with the babe. I'll be more sociable eventually, I promise!
On another note, Hazel loves to snuggle. :) And I love to snuggle with her! She has THE cutest little face, and I can still just sit and watch her ALL DAY LONG. We have our Christmas tree up, and even though she doesn't really know what's going on, I can't wait to celebrate with her! I think that every holiday will be infinitely more fun with her around!
Anyway, that was just on my mind.

4 comments:

Meg Barry said...

This is such a sweet post! Thanks for sharing, it brings back so many memories. The birth of a baby is such a sacred, sweet experience. Enjoy this time, I remember doing the same thing with my oldest...gazing at him all day, fascinated, amazed by everything he did. Soak it up! You will never be a mom for the first time again =).

Unknown said...

It is heartbreaking when you don't know what is wrong or how to fix it. Hailey cried for months... TERRIBLE... I felt like such a bad Mom... until we found out her milk allergy and acid reflux. You are a great Mom. The amount of love we feel for our babies is amazing. Just cry with her... it helps :)

Jenny Fitzner said...

the more crying the merrier. Take comfort in knowing that we've all been there. You care about your little one, and that makes you a great mom.

Blooming Mommy said...

Enjoy those snuggly moments! I love you! Your an incredible Mommy and have the cutest family EVER!!! Muah!