what a week!

so this week has been a rough one. lack of sleep and stress over everything has led to an unhappy me. however, it's ended on a high note. Quenton and I went on a dinner date last night and it was wonderful :) We left Hazel with Theron and Renee and, although I was super nervous and sad about leaving her, our evening was nice and relaxed. Dinner was great and the conversation was awesome. I love my husband!

this is us after dinner on our way to pick up little H.

Hazel is sure growing! She's 3 1/2 months now, and although I don't know her weight, I know she's got to be in the high percentiles for her age. :) I love my chunky monkey. She's also decided to start sucking her thumb. :) I know that can lead to problems when she's older, but for now it soothes her and if I don't have to worry about finding her soother every 10 minutes, I'm ok with that. Her sleep schedule is pretty up and down, but after talking to a few friends I've decided not to worry so much. I'll just keep sleeping when she sleeps so I'm prepared for long nights if I have to. She started sucking on her fist for a long time, but I guess her thumb snuck in and she's been hooked ever since :)

On another note, I'm getting together with my sisters and my mom in February for a little get away. It's just at my parents' house, but it'll be fun just to have some girl time and for all our kids to spend time together. I think this is something we're going to try to do every year, which will be nice. :)

so after a week that I don't really want to repeat, I have tools to use to make next week better. I'm so thankful for good friends who were prompted to lend an ear, shoulder, and even a few tips this last week. Heavenly Father must love me enough to know what I need especially when I don't ask for it.

lately......

so I've talked to a few people about when to have a second baby (not to tell me when to have one, just to hear their opinion). Some would want to wait (forever, if they could), and some like to space their kids out18 months to 2 years apart. Thinking about when to have another baby is really exciting. :) I have soooooo many friends who are expecting this year that it's getting me baby hungry again! I think that some see that as wierd, but I'm not getting any younger. I had a good pregnancy with Hazel and a good delivery as well, so I don't think that we'll be spacing our kids out (by choice, that is...). This isn't an announcement, but just thoughts that I've had. :)
Does anyone else have issues with their weight? Baby or no baby? For the most part I haven't really cared so much since Hazel was born, just because as long as she's healthy that's all that matters. But, I'm starting to get tired of wearing maternity clothes because I'm in between sizes. I'm not as heavy as I was before I was pregnant with her (so those clothes don't fit), but I don't want to buy new clothes until I've lost a little more weight. I guess I feel a little stuck because I want to spend time working out here at home, but it just hasn't happened. I guess it's something that's hard for me to get into. I hate feeling awkward in what I'm wearing, but have no options. I try not to vocalize my displeasure regarding my own weight, but it's just been weighing on my mind a lot lately. When Hazel is awake, I love to spend time talking to her and playing with her, and when she's asleep I either sleep too or try to catch up on other things. It's definitly easier to work out with someone, but I've noticed that I've been quite a home-body since Hazel's been around. I've always had weight issues so this is starting to feel like the stumbling block of my life, but I still feel like the slump will end and I'll be out there running with the best of them. :) (I'm sure I'll post that on here whenever it happens!)
Anyway, little Hazel is now 3 1/2 months old, and cooing, smiling, grabbing our fingers and everything that's close to her. :) She is growing so much, and I can't believe it! She's such a good baby, and I feel blessed every day to have her. She's had some REALLY good nights for sleeping (8-9 hours three times in a row), so I'm hoping that she is starting some sort of pattern. I am SO lucky to have her, and to have Quenton in my life too. He's been such a lifesaver, especially on days when I'm struggling with a lack of sleep and he'll make dinner when he gets home. He is my rock, and a natural dad :) I love watching him cuddle with Hazel and now seeing her recognize him more.
My family is amazing. I am a fortunate woman. :)

sad day....

so Hazel and I were having a pretty good day. Just relazing and talking. :) it was getting close to when Quent would be off work, and Hazel had just woken up from our nap. In the past, I've laid her on the couch with a pillow to block her from the edge, so I figured I'd do that again so I could quickly go to the bathroom before she ate. While I was gone I suddenly had a feeling that I'd hear her cry, and no more than a few seconds later, that's exactly what I heard. It was a scared, sad, where's-my-mom kind of cry, so I ran into the livingroom to find my baby on the floor. :( :( :( I was SO sad and so sorry that I had not protected her. Even in writing this it's difficult to hold back tears. I just held her and told her how sorry I was and cried with her (even though she was done a lot sooner than I was). My daughter is so tough. Not that I feel like testing her, but it seems that when traumatic things happen to her, she's pretty resilient.
It amazes me how much of your heart belongs to your children. I would do absolutely anything for my girl, and I really feel like I let her down today. :( I know, it happens to every child, but I still feel awful. I think she's forgotten everything already, but I'll remember. Oh well, at least she can't hold it over my head when she grows up, right? Here's to lessons learned in parenting.

I can do it :)

I love my baby girl. :) Right now I'm sitting on the couch, exhausted and gross, but I have her sleeping on my arm. Trying to get her back into some sort of routine has been alright, but I'm starting to feel it. I've had interrupted sleep, I haven't showered in days, but I don't mind. Sometimes she gets fussy while I'm eating lunch or dinner (especially), and I end up eating a cold plate after calming her down, but I don't mind. I can't count the number of times that I'm just crawling into bed when she starts to fuss, wake up, and want to eat. I've had a couple of 7-8 hour night's sleep, occaisionally 5-6 hours, but mostly 4 hours or less at a time. I haven't been able to start anything and finish it in the same day because she needs me. And I don't mind! I love taking care of my Hazel. I love feeling needed by her, and I love knowing that in so many situations I am the only one that she wants. If I never ate a hot meal again or had a long hot shower because I needed to take care of my daughter, I am more than happy to do it. :) Sometimes it would be nice to have my mom here to watch her at 3am so I can catch a quick 30 minute nap, but Quenton and I love the challenge. I never feel that being a parent is hard. A little exhausting, but not hard. This is why we're here, isn't it? I will never understand parents who habitually pass their kids off to their parents/family so they can do what they want. I could never pass Hazel off for someone else to take care of her. I'm sure that'll probably change when she's running around and getting into everything, but for now she's just my little angel. I think I've become a little overprotective of her (maybe an understatement) lately. Oh well. I'm her mom, so I don't care :)