Monday, April 16, 2012

warning --- is Debbie Downer in the room?

so after a number of posts that never made it to viewers' eyes, here's hopefully an attempt that will make it. I feel like a walking zombie. I know, I should be going to bed earlier, but I think I want to soak in as much "me" time, or even time with Quenton, as possible while Hazel is sleeping and baby #2 is still cooking. I love that time, but from the moment Hazel wakes up in the morning (between 7-7:30) until her nap (normally around noon, or earlier depending on how she slept and when she woke up) I can probably be found dozing off on the couch while I'm a terrible mom and have a Disney tv show on to keep H occupied. I cannot believe that I allow myself to even contemplate sleeping, even for 5 mins, while she roams free. (a little consolation- she can't get into the kitchen or down the stairs, so she's pretty limited in where she can get into trouble)

When did this happen? If I can't handle her busy mornings when I'm exhausted just from being pregnant, how can I handle it when there's another little one to care for? Some times I just feel like putting up an ad on facebook or somewhere asking for someone to just come and sit with me on the couch so I can nap without feeling like Hazel is completely ignored. But I don't ask for help. Ever. Because that would require some humility, I suppose, and I would feel like I needed to clean my house (which I don't have the energy for at the moment). So, I sleep. and Hazel gets to watch more tv than I had even planned for her to. Let me also say that the times my mom has been here has been the worst! Not that i don't like visiting with her, but she's wanted to be productive and get things done, but I just DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO IT. So I relax on the couch. And feel a little gratitude towards this little one who is my excuse for being lazy.....

How do other moms do it? I wanted to be a little crafty, a little more organized, but can't seem to get there. I wish Quenton wasn't working this stupid 10 day shift. I'm running on fumes right now, and feel like if I could get a nap in, then I'd have the energy to clean my kitchen and do whatever I needed to do. But, I'll have to wait until Friday, I guess.

Is this enough whining, I wonder? Probably. Sorry about that. I just feel like an emotional basket case now adays, and with restless nights, long days, and no end in sight, it's hard not to want to vent now and then.

On a brighter note, only 3 weeks and 2 days left! I don't look forward to the continuation of my lack of sleep, but at least I'll be more comfortable then than I am right now. This baby is beating me up! Must be a boy, right? ;)

8 comments:

Megan said...

Awww! You are SO NORMAL! Bens started watching TV when I was pregnant with baby #2. I would sprinkle some cheerios on the TV bench, put up the baby gate, and sleep on the couch- just like you! Keep sleeping. You will have energetic days once baby gets here. Then you will have exhausted days.
As for crafting and organizing just remember- something has to give. If I am having a "crafty day" my house is a mess and supper is simple. If I want to bake that day, we usually just stay in our PJ's and ignore the doorbell. You CAN have it all. You just can't have it all on the same day.

Jenny Fitzner said...

I know exactly how you feel!! T.V. has been turning into my nanny. Which is terrible, but when you feel like you're going to pass out from exhaustion giving into it never seems that bad at the time. I always make a list of things I want to get done in a day, and it's honestly a miracle if I finish one of those things. Brett keeps reminding me that I'll get my energy back when the baby is out... and I hope so much that he's right.

Good luck!! don't feel bad!

Sheri said...

A time and a season for everything! We all go through days/weeks where our kids watch too much TV while we lay on the couch in complete exhaustion whether we are in the 1st trimester, sick with the flu, end of pregnancy or had a sleepless night. The last few weeks before baby are emotional and exhausting but it will get better! Hang in there.
I like what Megan said......it is the same in my house (can't do it all at the same time). I would offer to watch H but I am not allowed to lift. I bet your VTers would love to help; most people love an opportunity to serve!
Take it easy and know that you are doing a big job of housing a baby full term ;)

Unknown said...

We have all been there. I did the same for Hailey... and the t.v. nanny continued until Quinn was probably 3 or 4 months old and I was a little less exhausted. As for crafting I didn't do anything until Quinn was probably 6 months old. I have now realized that having a baby means doing nothing for pretty much a year (from 6 weeks prego to baby 6 mths old). That is why I am waiting quite a bit longer this time! You will make it through... you can do it. Ask for help and sleep as much as you can. Everyone who has had children understands.

The Wolff Den said...

You are sure not alone with this one Tanya, it happens! It kind of brings back nightmares (too strong of a word?) when I think of being pregnant with Luc--my kids learned really fast that mom doesn't get on the floor and play so they learned to play with each other. You can only do what you can do, and don't feel guilty. You are sacrificing a lot to bring this lucky little baby into the world, you deserve a nap and Hazel won't remember the time that you took a little nap on the couch. She'll forgive you. :) If I ever have a day when Cub is home and not doing anything I'll come and do your dishes and your laundry. :) But not your bathrooms because I can't even handle getting my own done, haha! Love you!!

DeAnna said...

Completely normal! Mine are only 16 months apart and I worked full time until a month before #2 joined us. It was rough! The first 3-4 months are till a blur in my memory. Ask for help is the best advice I could give you!! You need that sleep!

As for getting crafty, I waited until #2 was about 6 months to find craftier things for my kids to do. Good luck!!

Blooming Mommy said...

You know, some times it's ok to let your kids sit in front of the tv....especially if it means keeping you sane and getting you a nap. You are NOT a horrible Mom! I repeat. You. Are. Not. A. Horrible. Mom! You are pregnant! Your growing a human being for heavens sake. That's a super power in and of itself! Give your beautiful self some credit! As for crafting...give it some time. You will have time some day to do it. Just take it a day at a time honey. Don't feel guilty about anything. As long as you are trying YOUR best, that's all that matters. Have a PJ's day. Get some sleep while you can. Hug H and enjoy it while it lasts. This season will be over all to quickly. You are amazing Tanya. Love you!
Oh and if I lived by you I would so come and be with you so you could nap. Or steal that cute H for the day to play with the boys. MISS YOU!!!! Wish we lived closer!

Amy said...

Ditto to everyone else! We have all done the exact same thing. Don't beat yourself up about it, or try to live up to the ideal in your head. I promise, you and the little ones won't even remember this time in your lives! ;) also, hopefully a positive note-usually labor is much easier with the second and I felt instantly better and you come to realize that newborns are actually really simple to take care of. So i hope that is the case for you. Not that you aren't crazy sleep deprived, but as you have already figured out, it is all about the toddler now, so just do what you gotta do momma! trust me, you can do it. hugs