please, allow me to vent.....

so I was on facebook yesterday, and I saw a link posted regarding the Church's view on homosexuality. I watched some of the videos of members who are both gay and mormon, and I honestly found it refreshing.

Let me preface this by saying that I have friends who are gay, and I love them. I, of course, also love the Church and the Gospel, so it was nice to read about the position the Church has on this sensitive subject. I don't want to go into great detail (you can look at the website here), but I really felt the Spirit and the love coming from our Father in Heaven. I think that this is a topic that anyone can pick apart and find criticism for either side, but I have nothing but respect for those who have to make these difficult decisions regarding such an emotional subject. I believe that those who take the time to seek the guidance of Heavenly Father, in order to make the decision that will ultimately bring them the greatest happiness, will have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with the Savior and our Father than they ever would.

So why are people not pleased with this?? We can't expect the Gospel or the Church to change to suit the needs of the individuals, and the way I see it, Church leaders are treating everyone equally; commandments are the same, the laws and ordinances are the same. I find it very frustrating when someone says that this makes them sad. Why?? I suppose that not having the eternal perspective on this could be why they feel that this isn't beneficial, but come on. The Church doesn't believe that by being homosexual you are automatically doomed to hell. Acting on those urges definitely changes things, but, in my opinion, it's no different than someone breaking the law of chastity. I definitly have feelings of frustration and annoyance directed towards those who are not listening to the Spirit, but, I suppose that we should only worry about our own relationship with the Lord and do our best to be understanding and loving.

We are here to love one another. That, ultimately, is the message. 

Love.

Let's celebrate the eternal perspective and the eternal blessings that are to be reaped from turning to the Lord in all things, no matter the situation, no matter the individual. 

Because we are all children of a Father in Heaven. 

And He loves each of us.

family pictures and bubba's stats :)

So we were able to get our friend Kim to take some family pictures again :) We'll be getting a few more this weekend since some of the family ones weren't what I was thinking of (due to not so cooperative children.....) Here's some of what she took, and I love them :) :)

 Hazel- 2 years old

 happy family of 4 :)

 Jude- 6 months

love.

It was pretty chilly that day, so I'm excited to see what we can get this weekend with a little warmer weather!

On another note, Jude is officially 25 weeks/ 6months old! AND he is another chunky monkey :) He's topped the scales since his first month or so, and he doesn't seem to be stopping, now weighing 22lbs! I absolutely love my Bubba. He's been teething for the past month or so, and so far that's the only time that he's really cranky. He's soooo happy, and so loving. Even with how crazy this month has been, he still has the biggest smiles for us, and definitely brightens my days. He is SO close to crawling! He can get anywhere so fast, and I don't know if I'm quite ready for him to be so mobile. But, I'm also proud of how quickly he's growing, and am so excited for these little milestones of his :)

my little Bubba xoxo

oh, and I realize I never posted about Hazel's birthday, so that will be coming soon :)

crazy days....

wow, where to I even begin this post.....

This past month has been CRAZY busy. I think with Quenton's crazy work schedule the way it was, we felt and are feeling a little more stretched than normal. Let's review:

First, there was General Conference/Thanksgiving weekend. Conference was fantastic! The announcement regarding missionary service brought tears to my eyes. The thought of more young men and young women being able to serve is such a blessing! Elder Holland's talk was so powerful, and still touches me every time I read it. All of the talks were so inspired, and I was sad to see it over. At least we had turkey dinner as a consolation, I suppose ;) Most of Quenton's family plus a few more came to our house. It was so fun to host! I love having a house where people can actually come over :) There were a few stressful moments, but overall it was a good weekend.

Then, we prepared that week to go to the Calgary Temple open house on the Saturday.
 
We drove down Friday night and planned on coming back Sunday. The Temple is sooo beautiful! What an awesome opportunity to be able to bring a couple of our non-member friends through :) We stayed with the Trims and LOVED IT! We agreed that we need to visit more often. We saw my brother Todd and his girlfriend Theresa before we left, which definitely completed the trip. :)
On the way home, my ear started to hurt, and by the time we got to Edmonton, I had decided to get it looked at. I had been fighting a pretty bad cold since before the trip, and I didn't want to be dealing with an infection with Quenton back at work. It took a while to get in at the clinic, but I at least found out that it wasn't an infection, but could turn out that way in a day or so. All I could do was take tylenol or/and advil for the pain and hope it didn't end up worse. It started to feel better the next day, and the virus I had went away after about a week.
Keep in mind, this whole time we've been potty training Hazel, which was a little trying at first, but she's been doing AMAZING! No, I haven't taken her on a trip out yet without a diaper, but that's my goal this week. :) Meanwhile, I was trying to work out 6 days/week, focus on Weight Watchers, we've started Jude on solids, hosted friends here to stay for a few days, made TWO turkey dinners (one being Thanksgiving), had Stake Conference, had family pictures, threw a Halloween activity for my Activity Days girls, had Hazel's Birthday party (just us and the missionaries, but still....), still need to carve our 3 pumpkins and get ready for tomorrow night, and have had to adjust to Quenton working 12-14 hour days and evenings.
so I'm a little tired.
 and I've wanted to complain a lot. which I have to Quenton.
but, I just keep thinking that these hours are helping us financially, and starting November 1st, life should be getting somewhat back to normal. Some things have suffered this past month, but we're trying to keep an eternal perspective by trying to see what blessings have come from the choices we've made, and what we can improve on.
October is still my favourite month of the year :)



so, sorry if we haven't kept in better touch with you, especially if we live in the same city! I promise, next month will be better :)

help!!!!!

S.O.S!!!

well, it's maybe not THAT bad, but I'm in a HUGE rut..... (is that how you spell rut??..... i don't know.)

My goal was to be a fit new mom and lose weight and look as good as I do in my head. That was my goal. I, however, have hit a WALL. Life has been really stressful lately, and I'm doing a little emotional eating. booooo! Ok, let's back up a little....

I started Weight Watchers after Jude was born, to at least get into some better eating habits. It was going really well, not to mention the perks of breast feeding. However, I couldn't/can't get past that 10 lb mark. :( 

I've been dealing with post partum depression as well, which seems to come and go. That definitly plays a part in this weight loss challenge. 

So, I'm still doing WW (at least going to get back on track asap), but need some pointers on the exercise part. I don't go to the gym (not my thing), and right now my comfort zone is my house and yard (ppd thing). Sooooo, I'm just wondering what you've used to work out at home and when? Ideally, it would be nice to have a work out partner, or at least someone to be accountable to. Quent has been lifting weights (yes, please!!) but has had changing schedules, so we're kind of doing this separately together.... ;) Eventually I'd like to run a 5/10 K race sometime, but I think that'll have to wait until I'm either not nursing or nursing less frequently.

Jude is 4 1/2 months old right now, and I'm really hoping to be able to buy a whole new wardrobe by Christmas. That's reasonable, right?

Anyway, any advice would be appreciated :) I'm done with feeling/looking like baby #3 is on the way......

ok, finally an update.....

where to start, where to start.......

well, this summer's been a busy one. First off, we had Jude's blessing at the end of June. It was nice to have family come and celebrate little J-man :)

 Here's our little family.... Hazel was a little tired and not wanting a picture.

.... and here's our little man. :) I love him so much!

Next, we went CAMPING. I'm not a big camper to start with, so I was a little nervous to think that we'd be camping with 2 kids, one being only 2 months old. We were able to borrow Quenton's parent's trailer, so that basically saved my sanity. It was SO HOT where we were, so it was nice to have some AC.

My parents are celebrating their 40th anniversary this year, so we threw them a little get together after our family campout. We had relatives from both side come and celebrate our awesome parents, and it was so fun to get together with them! (pics to follow.....)

We've been home ever since the middle of July, and I can't believe it's already the middle of August!! I feel like my life has been one big blur, but I suppose that happens with kids around :) 

Hazel is saying TONS of words :) Stuck! (her favourite word), sit, circle, star, rocket (rock), poop (for Pooh), bum (for poop), hair, one, two, mommy, dad, papa, mama, all done (speaking and signing for finished and amen), Jude, tired, help (signing and speaking), down, up, and MANY MORE! I feel like she's growing up so fast, and I have mixed emotions about that! She's the best big sister to Jude, and I can't wait for them to play together :) I absolutely am still in love with my little girl :)

Jude is my little bubba :) He is SO big! A month ago he was just under

16 lbs, so I'm sure he's closer to 17 now. He smiles, laughs, talks up a storm, and melts my heart :) He loves tummy time, and would rather be standing than anything. I bet he's going to be crawling before I know it (that is, IF he can move his own weight around!) :) He's such a happy boy, and I'm so lucky to have him for my second baby. He's added so much to our family right now and can't see what else he's going to be learning!

brother/sister time :)

Quent and I are still adjusting to being back from holidays. One thing that I miss is SLEEP. Hazel had moved from her crib to a twin mattress on the floor, and was sleeping great before and during camping. Now, she gets up at least once a night and is constantly coming into our room. We've been letting her sleep in our bed, mostly because I'm too tired to take her back to bed. That will be changing ASAP, though. I've been so exhausted that I feel like I just cannot get ahead. With ANYTHING. I wonder if there are other moms out there who have been in the same boat after having their second child? I kind of hope so, so I don't feel like such a bad mom. I'll admit to having a bit of a breakdown yesterday, but all is well today (probably because I've had my first shower in DAYS!). Regret having more than just one kid? Nope. Never. Just learning to balance everything. That, I believe, is an art I have yet to master.

jumping in, head first.

 **warning, long post ahead...**

i love my kids :) I love having Jude here, and I love how Hazel seemed to grow up so much in this last month. A month. How has 4 weeks gone by already?? We were busy with visitors and then with trying to get a schedule established, time has FLOWN. He's still trying to adjust to life on the outside, but even through the sleepless nights and tiresome days, my love for him, and even for Hazel (who has been a real trooper through all this adjusting!) has only grown. :) I love spending every moment with my kids, even the tough ones, and I consider that a blessing.

I was a little concerned when I got closer to my due date, and especially right after Jude was born because I went through almost a whole year of post-partum depression with Hazel. I didn't know if I was going to have to deal with that again or not, but I figured being aware of it might give me a bit of an advantage. So far, things have been ok. I've had a couple of bad days, but I really don't think it's hit me. (fingers crossed)
I can't remember if I've talked about having PPD or not, but I figure that there's other moms out there who have dealt with this, and sharing gives awareness and that can be the help that I or others need.
I had dealt with some anxiety and depression in the past, nothing too serious, but enough that I knew we would probably be dealing with PPD once we started having kids. I remember barely leaving my house most of that year (seriously, only for Church and the occasional errand). I felt comfortable and relatively safe in our little basement suite, and I needed that assurance.
One thing that became very apparent when Hazel was born was my attatchment to her. Yes, I know it's normal for mothers to feel a strong bond with their children, especially their first born, but I quickly came to learn that this went a little beyond that. In Hazel's 19 months of life, we've had only 2 nights where we had to get a babysitter, and a couple more where Q's mom or my mom watched her so we could go to a movie. I just didn't want to leave Hazel. No, I COULDN'T leave her. I would have anxiety just thinking of not being with her, and I would either turn down an offer for someone to watch her, or we would just stay at home and rent a movie. It's not that I didn't think it was important for Quenton and I to have date night, or even some time sans kids, but for me, it's not an easy solution of just getting out of the house. Sometimes the simple, easy answer is the hardest to accomplish.
Anyway, I became quite comfortable just hanging out with Hazel and Quenton, and sometimes even going to playdates with friends. I will admit, though, that I often turned down invites because I just didn't feel comfortable leaving, or feeling a little (or a lot) "blue" was enough to keep me home. It didn't take me long to realize that a part of my own PPD was having a form of separation anxiety "issues" (mostly with Hazel, but vaguely with Quenton, even). Even now, with Jude here, I have the hardest time thinking of leaving Hazel at a friend's house for a playdate. I stressed SO MUCH trying to figure out what I was going to do with Hazel if Jude happened to come early and my mom wasn't here to watch her. I thought that it would get easier once Jude was here, but I still feel that connection with Hazel that makes it hard for me to leave her. I think a big part of it is because we waited so long for her to come into our family, and the thought of something happening to her if I'm not there (and I'm not talking about a scraped knee) is enough for me to stay home and watch her. There's more to having PPD and separation anziety with my family than I've mentioned, but this is the jist of it.
I'm sure this probably sounds silly to most people, but, even though I'm working on getting out more (with or without kids), these issues are real. I love my kids, and I love my family. With advice from friends who have dealt with the same things I have, and, for me, turning to the Lord, life is pretty good. I've really been blessed with the experiences in my life, and I know that I am stronger than my situations.

that's it in a nutshell.

He's HERE!!!!!

well, I'm happy to say that our little man arrived early, on May 6th at 3:30am. :)

So, here's the story......

My mom came on the 29th of April because we both thought that I'd be going into the hospital any time. That night around 11pm, I realized I hadn't felt Jude move since about 12:30 that afternoon. I called Healthlink and they told me to go in, just to be monitored. It's not uncommon for fetal movement to decrease as they get bigger, but I really hadn't felt anything and was a little concerned. It turned out that we stayed there for a couple of hours until they felt like he had moved enough. They did mention to us that if Jude's movements didn't meet the requirements that they were looking for, they would consider inducing me. The doctor asked me to come back the next day for an ultrasound, just to make sure things were ok, so I came back in the morning. I was there for almost 4 hours, and they still wanted me to come back that evening after I had eaten supper. I wasn't feeling to worried at this point, just because I saw that Jude's heart rate was good, and the ultrasound tech said that things looked great. So, Quenton and I came that night, and finally Jude's movements picked up and I didn't have to come back again. I kept track through the week, just to make sure I could feel him move, and just waited. I'll admit, I was starting to feel a little impatient at this point. I think i just felt like he was ready to come, and nothing was really happening.
That Friday I went for another appointment with my OB and I was only 2-3 cm dilated. :( I wasn't really happy about that, but I figured we'd see how the weekend went. That night, I started having contractions, so both Quenton and I slept in the livingroom, just in case I needed to go in. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I just watched tv. However, everything must have stopped, because the next thing I knew I was waking up and was NOT feeling any contractions. sad day. We went to bed and hoped that things would pick up the next day.
All day Saturday my contractions came and went, sometimes they were 5 minutes apart, sometimes 15. But, again, by that night I hadn't felt my baby move all that much, so I called Healthlink again. The nurse told me since I had alread been in for the same reason earlier in the week that I should just go in again. After about 1-2 hours of another non-stress test and mild contractions, the doctor on call (chief resident) checked me (2-3 cm AGAIN) and said that he'd recommend induction. He gave us time to talk it over, and we decided that we'd stay. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we were going to have our little boy that night!

Soooo, even before the drip, my contractions quickly increased, and the memories of Hazel's birth came back to me pretty fast! Active labour started around 11:30, and with a little walking (and some help from the drip) in no time I was at 4cm, then 5, and quickly progressed to 7 then 8! Somewhere in there, my water broke (which I was thankful for!). I had actually brought my iPod and both Q and I planned on being able to have a little nap after my epidural. No dice. Jude's heart rate would drop every time I had a contraction, and the doctor told us if it happened once more they would do a c-section. Thankfully I had progressed and dilated enough that I could start pushing after the next contraction. I was a little surprised that I was ready to start pushing, but 10 minutes later, little Jude was here!! Everything was so different from Hazel's labour and delivery, but I was so grateful for such a unique experience.

I love my little Judebug xoxoxoxo

Jude Edward White
May 6, 2012
3:29am
7lbs 6oz

(how do I rotate this?)

love you, little boy.

come on, now.....

i want this baby.

I've never considered anything gross like drinking Castor oil, or jumping on a trampoline, but I will walk around (as long as it's not too painful!). I have 8 days left until this baby's due date, but it kind of sounds like I'll either have it before or my doctor will induce me possibly on Friday. 

Sunday night, I realized that I hadn't felt the baby move ALL afternoon. I know that movements are definitly more limited as the baby gets bigger, but it was longer than I thought it should have been. I called Healthlink and after 2 questions they told me to head to the hospital. So, we left around 11:30pm. After monitoring the baby, they wanted me to go home and come back the next day to monitor the baby again. So, I went to the hospital on Monday and after being there for another 2 hours, they wanted me to come back after I had eaten supper last night. I saw my doctor that afternoon as well, and he said that I'm 2 cm now, and if nothing happens before Friday, so see him then. 

So, I'm really starting to get a little anxious for this little one to come now. Mostly because I want to be done with feeling uncomfortable :)

So, if you can think of some "early arrival" baby thoughts, please send them our way :) Hopefully the next post will have some cutesie baby pictures to show you!

baby and not so baby.....

so I guess this baby can come anytime now :) I had a check-up on Monday, and I'm about 1cm dilated. I know that some women can be dilated for a while before they go into labour, but I'm hoping that I'll have this baby maybe on the weekend? 4 days before Hazel was born I wasn't dilating at all, so if that's any indication (which it might not be) I shouldn't have to wait too long for this little one to come :) My appointment got me a little excited for baby to finally get here!

On another note, Hazel is officially in NURSERY!!!

I can't believe she's even old enough or big enough to be there. I had mixed feelings leaving her there. I almost started crying, to tell you the truth. But, she was a trooper and didn't cry or even seem like she needed me. That was fine, but at the same time I was maybe hoping that she would miss me because then I could take her with me and she could need me forever. But, again, she was a trooper and didn't even want to leave when it was time to come home. When did she grow up? There's a part of me that wants her to stay my little baby girl forever, but I know that she has so much potential for her future. It's hard not to want her all to myself. She has such a big piece of my heart, and every milestone in her life will be so special to me.

And now I get to prepare to give another piece of my heart to this baby and to do it all over again.

I can't wait. :)

warning --- is Debbie Downer in the room?

so after a number of posts that never made it to viewers' eyes, here's hopefully an attempt that will make it. I feel like a walking zombie. I know, I should be going to bed earlier, but I think I want to soak in as much "me" time, or even time with Quenton, as possible while Hazel is sleeping and baby #2 is still cooking. I love that time, but from the moment Hazel wakes up in the morning (between 7-7:30) until her nap (normally around noon, or earlier depending on how she slept and when she woke up) I can probably be found dozing off on the couch while I'm a terrible mom and have a Disney tv show on to keep H occupied. I cannot believe that I allow myself to even contemplate sleeping, even for 5 mins, while she roams free. (a little consolation- she can't get into the kitchen or down the stairs, so she's pretty limited in where she can get into trouble)

When did this happen? If I can't handle her busy mornings when I'm exhausted just from being pregnant, how can I handle it when there's another little one to care for? Some times I just feel like putting up an ad on facebook or somewhere asking for someone to just come and sit with me on the couch so I can nap without feeling like Hazel is completely ignored. But I don't ask for help. Ever. Because that would require some humility, I suppose, and I would feel like I needed to clean my house (which I don't have the energy for at the moment). So, I sleep. and Hazel gets to watch more tv than I had even planned for her to. Let me also say that the times my mom has been here has been the worst! Not that i don't like visiting with her, but she's wanted to be productive and get things done, but I just DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO IT. So I relax on the couch. And feel a little gratitude towards this little one who is my excuse for being lazy.....

How do other moms do it? I wanted to be a little crafty, a little more organized, but can't seem to get there. I wish Quenton wasn't working this stupid 10 day shift. I'm running on fumes right now, and feel like if I could get a nap in, then I'd have the energy to clean my kitchen and do whatever I needed to do. But, I'll have to wait until Friday, I guess.

Is this enough whining, I wonder? Probably. Sorry about that. I just feel like an emotional basket case now adays, and with restless nights, long days, and no end in sight, it's hard not to want to vent now and then.

On a brighter note, only 3 weeks and 2 days left! I don't look forward to the continuation of my lack of sleep, but at least I'll be more comfortable then than I am right now. This baby is beating me up! Must be a boy, right? ;)

2 to 1

so, for 3 years we had both Buddy and Sugar, brother and sister, black lab/collies, and a welcomed part of our family. I'm sure that there were some that questioned what we were doing getting TWO dogs at once :) Trust me, there were days when I thought the same thing! 

Anyway, once Hazel came into the picture, I started feeling a little overwhelmed with having the dogs as well. We were still kind of in the process of training them, and with Buddy being the difficult one, Sugar would sometimes feed off of him. It made for some pretty frustrating days!

Anyway, last month we decided to put both dogs up on Kijiji, just to see if anyone was interested. I figured that having two kids plus the two dogs would be too much for me, so we planned on at least finding a good home for Buddy, and see how things went with Sugar. We ended up finding a family of 5 who lived on an acreage who were interested in Buddy. So, the dad and his one daughter came in to town to see Buddy, and within an hour he had a new home. We felt really good about where he was going, and know that he's getting the attention that he needs. 

Sugar took about a week to adjust to being here by herself, but she's been great! She's more calm, and definitly more obedient (she always was the better listener!). I love having her around, so she's not going anywhere. I don't regret getting a dog, even two. It's been a great learning experience, and I think there'll be positive results having our kids around Sugar.

Having said that, I'm not looking forward to cleaning our back yard after a winter of having two dogs back there! (good thing Quenton volunteered for the job!!!)

partner with brown? pattern or solid?

so, we painted our bedroom.

again.

but this time we actually like it :)

Before, we actually ended up with a "peachy" looking colour that was NOT what we were wanting. So, we decided that if we were going to paint, it needed to be done before the baby arrives. We ended up with a tawny brown colour (I'll put up pictures asap), and now the question is, what to put with it? I'm thinking that I'll just sew some curtains, and buy a new duvet with some throw pillows for our bed. So, now I just need to decide what accent colour to use? I was thinking blue, since it goes nicely with brown, but is there some other colour that would look better?

After I choose a colour, I then need to decide on patterns. Do I use a pattern for my curtains and a solid for the duvet, or vice versa? hmmmm. Even though I haven't concluded much yet, I'm excited to get started! If you have any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to accept them! :)

7.

seven.

lucky number? no, not really.

the number of people in my immediate family (sibs and parents).

most importantly, the number of weeks I have until this little bundle arrives.

seven.

I went shopping with Hazel yesterday for clothes for both my kiddies (so weird saying that......) and it got me kind of excited. :) First, I love getting Hazel clothes. More than getting myself clothes, at the moment! I mean, she's cute on her own, just in a diaper, but putting her in cute jeans, or a sweet little summer dress is just that much cuter! So, that alone was pretty fun. :) Second, I went looking through boy section since I've been thinking this is going to be a boy (but if not, then I'll have something for when we do have one), and I was getting excited :) Baby boy clothes are super cute!! It helped me realize how close we really are to having this little miracle in our family. I can't wait!

This month is going to be the month to get all the things "baby" labelled ready; washing baby clothes, sewing blankets, preparing the cradle and setting everything up. Next month is everything else; frozen meals, maternity pics, relaxing, possibly shaving my legs (seriously, not as easy or worth it at the moment).

On another note, having bronchitis/sinusitis while pregnant is NOT fun. Yay for modern medicine. :) Oh, and I'm going to post pics of Hazel up soon. Cause she's just too cute to NOT brag about.

a-ha moments......

I've been doing a lot of reminiscing lately about different events in my life, and although there are some things I would change, most I wouldn't. :) It did help me decide, however, that I not only need to be thinking about the future, but to prepare as well. Now, I'm not necessarily one for just living in the moment, but whenever I look at Hazel, I think that there are so many things that I want to do for her to help her live the best life.

We had the missionaries over last night, and we were talking about contacting and sharing the Gospel with friends and neighbours. I remember as a missionary how easy I believed it was to share something that I loved so much. I've discovered, however, it's a little more daunting than I remembered! Anyway, Quenton and I have decided that we need to make more of an effort, especially so we can show our kids how important missionary work is. I want them to love the Gospel as much as I do, and I really feel like this year will be a great year for us and missionary work :)

I've also dealt with post-partum depression, and feel that being around friends and performing service will help me to overcome some of the obstacles that come with PPD. I know there's a lot more that I can be doing (whether it's meds, councelling or whatever), but I want to see what I can do about preventing some symptoms before they happen. I know some girls who have had PPD with their pregnancies as well, so I'll probably turn to them for advice. :)

I need to say, too, how much I love my family. Not just my own little family, but my siblings and parents. I have felt for a long time that I'm different from my family members, and that I don't have as much in common with them as I used to, but all of that aside, I love them. There have been some things that have happened recently that have made me really think about what's important, and family is right up there. I haven't always felt that I could forgive past wrongs, but I read a talk President Faust gave in May 2007 called "The Healing Power of Forgiveness" that has really struck a chord with me. I think sometimes it's harder to forgive and move on than I would like, but if the goal in this life is to be as happy as we can, we need to do the hard stuff. Family is worth it. Eternity is worth it. Our happiness depends on it.

a little help :)

so I was talking to a good friend the other day, and we were discussing children. Going from 1 to more than 1 sometimes seems like a daunting task, so K sent me a link to a blog we've both followed. After I read it, I felt like I could do this :) I highly recommend this for anyone expecting their second, third, or even fourth baby. :)

Thanks, friend! :)

daydreaming is ok :)

I remember when I was growing up, I was SUCH a dreamer. :) I've told Quenton this tons, but I would watch movies (especially Disney movies) and want the hero and heroine to get together in the end. I was a huge romantic, and would slowly piece together the kind of "prince" I wanted to sweep me off my feet. 

I always knew that I'd be married to a wonderful man, (I just didn't know it would take as long as it did!). Quenton has been one of the best things that's happened to me. :) I often think about how much Heavenly Father loves me, because he blessed me with the most amazing man. 

He is more patient with me than I deserve, he treats me like a queen, and he has the best heart. I love watching him with Hazel, and I can't wait to see him with this new little one. :) He never complains about things, especially the things that I forget to do around the house! And I love how he helps our with EVERYTHING. He's not afraid to change diapers, or do dishes, or cook. How did I get so lucky? I have no idea. 

This Valentine's Day, I was hoping to do something special for him. With this pregnancy, I'm having to take each day as it comes, so we'll see what I can come up with :) Bottom line: I LOVE this man :) I know that after all those years of dreaming and hoping for someone who would make me happier than I could have imagined, I got something even better :)

this week so far...

ok, so I'm sure I'm not the only mom who wonders if she's doing right by her child.

"Is this the proper way to discipline?" or "Am I being too much of a push over or too mean?"

These are some of the questions I've had, especially lately. Don't get me wrong, Hazel is such a great kid, and I love her to pieces, but I think she's picking up on my concerns over whether I'll be in over my head with 2 kids. I don't want to be "that" mom who says "no" to everything, but I feel that way when I'm tired or not feeling 100%. I know that there are family members and probably close friends who definitly have a different way of disciplining, so it's sometimes hard to "commiserate" when our views don't mesh.
I did, however, talk to a good friend today who gave me some good tips on not getting Hazel frustrated and how to discipline with love. I'm feeling like it's not so impossible now, and today is definitly a better day. :)

On another note, I am feeling FULL. It's funny how much you can forget about being pregnant, like how the baby will actually be GROWING :) This little one moves just as much as Hazel ever did, but hasn't had the hiccups yet (that I know of!). I keep telling Quenton that I forget how big this baby is getting until I get a kick here, or I read onling approximately how much "he" weighs. I sometimes look at Hazel and think, " wow, you were once the size of an avocado, or a grapefruit!". Now she's gabbing away, climbing up on couches, and growing up way too fast :)

baby baby,,,..

so just a quick update on our little peanut:

He (I say "he" so I don't have to say "it") is moving around TONS. :) I don't mind it at all!
He's definitly in a different position than Hazel was, because I've been having some serious stomach acid issues. I've tried some different tips from people, but so far all that's helped has been a prescription for Ranitidine. Sometimes that doesn't even work all that well, though. But, it's only temporary, right?
I think, according to my doctor's response, that he's growning just like he should be, so I'm hoping for around the same weight that Hazel was (hmmm, is that wishful thinking?)
I started Weight Watchers back in November, and haven't gained any weight, so that's a good thing (right?). :) It's been hard to overeat when my stomach has been so unpredictable, but learning to eat smaller portions, even while pregnant, has been a good habit to get into. I'm hoping it stays after the baby comes. That's my plan, anyway.
I'm already feeling uncomfortable, which makes it interesting when I'm trying to chase Hazel around or even play on the floor with her! I'm sure she prefers when daddy is home, since he has more energy and can do more with her. :)
I've had moments of being a little nervous about having 2 kids around, but I'll just take it a day at a time. For now, I'll just deal with my inconsistent stomach issues, and remember that this pregnancy really isn't that bad :)
Only 105 days to go...... are we ready?

I think so :)

ch-ch-ch-changes :)

i haven't written about Christmas yet, but I really wanted to document the changes that will be happening in the White household this year :)

So, as we were coming home from our holidays, Quenton and I talked about the changes we wanted to happen in our family. It actually got both of us really excited, since we feel that this is already going to be a  good year :)

So, one of the first things we talked about was our health. We don't eat a lot of junkfood (unless we're travelling), but we do like icecream. So, we're limiting ourselves to some sort of a treat once a week. It'll help us to change our desserts and start better habits. Going along with that, we're both going to continue with Weight Watchers. No, Quenton doesn't really need to be doing it, but having both of us on it will continue good eating habits, and let's face it, it's easier for me to do it if he's on board. :) I'm technically not supposed to do it while I'm pregnant, but I have been, just so it's not a huge change once I have this baby. He's lost about 10 lbs and I've lost around 7lbs. :) I got Quenton a workout bench for his weights at Christmas, so he's going to work out at least 3 times a week. (yes, that makes me happy!) Yay for a healthier lifestyle!!!

We also want to make sure we have the Elders over at least once a month, and invite friends over for dinner once a month too. I think coming from a place where we had NO space to entertain people, it's a bit of an adjustment to see that we can start doing that more now. Plus, we don't get out with friends that often, and I think it'll be good for us. sidenote: did anyone else notice a difference in associating with friends after you 

got married? We did. I just found it comfortable just hanging out with my hubby, so friends kind of went to the wayside.... glad we're going to remedy that!

We are going to be more diligent about no tv on Sundays and focus on watching Church and family movies. Having kids around definitly help to adjust your perspective! We also talked about FHE. It was hard to have something planned out when it was just him and I, but I'm excited to plan activities for Hazel and help her to understand that this is what we do one night a week. I've written a schedule on the calendar, and I'm really excited to get this going!

I would like to get into more crafts. It'll be good for me, and hopefully I'll get back into painting. Last year I didn't really take a lot of time for myself, and I think that by doing this I'll be a lot happier and more prepared for this little one to come :) plus, now that I'm on pinterest, the possibilities are ENDLESS!!! 

Our main goal for the year is to be happy. That sometimes takes effort, but it'll make our family time more enjoyable and I know that our kids will benefit and remember all these moments. :)