tough cookie

so my little Hazelnut had her immunizations today. :( big sad face. of course, I was more upset for longer than she was. She cried a lot at the first pricks, then settled down nicely, while I, on the other hand, took a lot longer to regain my composure. After waiting for 15 mins afterwards, we came home and she's been sleeping since we left. I am so amazed at how tough my daughter is! She is amazing :)
So, she's now at 12 lbs. 15 1/4 oz and 23 in long. Yes, that's 90% for weight and 75% for height. Apparently she's storing up for the winter?? ;) I'm grateful she's healthy and strong, and more grateful that her head is in the 50% for size.
Quenton's last day of work before holidays ended up being yesterday, so we're leaving for his parents' place tomorrow. I'm excited for Hazel to have her first Christmas! I know she won't remember a lot, but the rest of us will! Last weekend we went to my mom and dad's just for a visit. Hazel loved it! (Grandma and Grandpa did too!!). Mom is recovering from her surgery, so she wasn't supposed to carry Hazel around (even though she did.....). It's nice to know that Hazel didn't mind the trip there, and I'm hoping that tomorrow she'll do fine too.
Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

good morning.....

so it's 9:30 in the MORNING, and I'm not fighting off a sleep deprived headache, or zonked out because I didn't get to bed until 3am. It's pretty nice! Hazel's been having some off nights, and I'm attributing it to a growth spurt. I have to, since there's nothing else that I can think of that would make her want to eat so often and stay awake for so long.... maybe I'm off, but I'm still learning!
Quenton took the day off, for which I'm so grateful! It was beginning to feel a little overwhelming for me to think of all the things that I needed/wanted to get finished before we leave to visit my parents this weekend, as well as before we head down south next weekend. I have a few more gifts to get, and I want to pick up some ingredients to do a little baking. I'm hoping to get enough baked to keep some here and take some with us next week. :)
Mom had her gall bladder removed yesterday, and is now back home. She gave us a little scare when she was admitted to the hospital last week (after being there a week earlier) and then rushed to Camrose the next morning to see a specialist. She was having severe (mildly put) pain in her stomach area, so after an ultrasound and staying for a couple of days, the doctor suggested having her gall bladder taken out. It's pretty unnerving when you're not around to see how she's actually doing. I was able to see her, so I talked to my siblings to let them know she was ok. Quenton, Hazel and I are going to visit mom and dad this weekend, so that'll be nice since we won't see them Christmas day.
I feel how difficult it is to sometimes focus on what's really important when life gets a little overwhelming, but I am so grateful for my family and just being with my two favourite people. This has been a really good year for my little family, and I'm so grateful for the blessings Heavenly Father was willing to grant us. What a wonderful time of year!
oh, and even though I started this at 9:30, it took me ALL DAY to finish it. :)
oh, and here are a couple more pictures of little Hazel. She just melts my heart!

Have a great Christmas!

ahhhh, December.....

so December is already here and I haven't started my Christmas shopping. WHAT!?!? I was hoping to be more on the ball this year, but honestly, who are we kidding? Hopefully this week I'll be able to get it all done with little Hazel. I found out that chocolate makes her super unhappy, so no more chocolate for me. It's not that big of a deal, since I'm not a choc-o-holic, but what about hot chocolate? I'll have to figure something out.... maybe apple cider? mmmmm..........
So, now that we've figured out what was the main reason for her fussing and staying up till all hours of the night, I feel more comfortable taking her out to run errands. I was a little hesitant to take her out if she got fussy, so hopefully this week will be a success. :)
Hazel has changed so much! She last weighed 10 lbs 7 oz (nov. 29) and is getting bigger everyday. :) I just love cuddling with her whenever I can, and talking to her about everything. :) This Christmas will be so exciting! I know that she won't understand what's going on, but just having her around will be pretty fun. :)
So, we took some family pictures yesterday after Church. My mom and sister have been bugging me for one, so we attempted to get a good result. I wish I was better at taking pictures, or at least being able to edit colour and stuff like that. I know so many people who take pictures as a hobby, and I think that's something I'd like to try out. I suppose I'd need a good camera, so maybe I'll have to put off this new hobby for a while.
Anyway, here's the one I thought was the best. I think we'll try to get another one taken around Christmas, even though Quenton isn't big into getting them done. I'm sure someone could just draw stick figures of us and Q would think that it was good enough! just kidding, but he's really a guy when it comes to stuff like this. :)

so there you have it. I'll probably take more another time, mostly because I love taking pictures of my little Hazelnut. :)
Oh, and here's our Christmas tree. :)

Merry Christmas!

thoughts lately....

so, I thought I was immune to have rough nights with my beautiful girl, but that was not to be. Everything has been pretty good. I don't really mind the late nights as long as Hazel isn't upset or sad. That has got to be the hardest thing for me to deal with. Last night, for example, she was fussy for whatever reason, and my heart was breaking for her. I know, I know, lots of babies get fussy, and it's not the end of the world, but I felt like such a terrible mom, seeing my little girl so upset. In the end, she just needed to cuddle with her mom, and I rocked her and she was fine. Her mom wasn't fine, though. I would do anything for Hazel, and when I don't know what to do, I feel sad. :(  Tears were shed, hugs were given, and then we were all ok. I know it'll take a few months to get into a routine, so for now whatever she needs, she'll get, whenever she needs it.
Can I just say again how amazing it feels to have this much love for someone I just met? Quenton and I were talking last night about how being able to have a family brings the happiness that Heavenly Father wants for us. I know that if we weren't able to have children ourselves, we would probably adopt, so having Hazel has been such a blessing.
I've been at home mostly, and even though I've been able to get out a bit with Hazel, either to run errands or visit friends, I totally don't mind being cooped up here. I mean, it's been a little chilly outside, so who doesn't want to avoid the cold!?! I don't mind having visitors, but for the most part I like just having some bonding time with the babe. I'll be more sociable eventually, I promise!
On another note, Hazel loves to snuggle. :) And I love to snuggle with her! She has THE cutest little face, and I can still just sit and watch her ALL DAY LONG. We have our Christmas tree up, and even though she doesn't really know what's going on, I can't wait to celebrate with her! I think that every holiday will be infinitely more fun with her around!
Anyway, that was just on my mind.

here's a few more....

so my friend Kim took a few more newborn shots of Hazel, so I thought I'd share a few with you. My little girl is so amazing, and I swear I could take pictures of her all day every day, although I'm sure every mom can say that!
I hope you don't get too sick of me showing off my little princess, my Hazelnut. :)

There are some days when she will look at me, or just snuggle in just that little bit more, and it really takes a lot for me to keep my emotions in check. I'm sure I'll write a lot about her, but she is one of the greatest blessings in my life. Heavenly Father truly gave us this little miracle, and my life feels so complete. :)

different....

so life will never be the same. :) I'm pretty happy about that! Life has been so great, even amidst the late night feedings, worrying whether Hazel has thrush or not, and being frustrated when Quenton and I getting sick. I love our little girl more than I can even say. Even when I'm exhausted at 3am, I wouldn't trade getting up for her for anything. Once a mother, always a mother, right?

Here's some pictures of my beautiful babe. :)

My heart is so full. :)

finally!!!!

SHE'S HERE!!!!! I'm sure that most of you know this, but it's about time that I blogged about it! I'll give the short-ish version of the big event. :)
I woke up on her due date around 3am to go to the bathroom, and when I was on my way back to bed I noticed some cramping. I waited to see if they were staying consistent, and once they started to "contract" I woke Quenton up and told him that I was having contractions. He woke up, but then shut his eyes and just lay there (I think waiting to see if anything was really going to happen....) :) Then I felt my water break, and after I told Quent he was definitly awake! We left for the hospital at 4am and after being monitored and checked, (I was only 2 cm) we had the option of being sent home or staying. I thought it would be a good idea to go home, hoping that I'd be more comfortable. On the way, we stopped at McDonald's to get a little breakfast (I was craving it, since I wanted to eat SOMETHING!) and by the time we got home, the contractions were starting to get pretty intense. I took a LONG hot shower and then went to lay down for a bit. Finally, I told Quenton we should go back to the hospital. It was 2 hours after we had come home, so I figured I had toughed it out enough! We got there and they checked me, saying that I was at 3 cm, so after being admitted, the contractions were getting to be a bit much for me. I was ready for the miraculous epidural, but I had to wait until the doctor had everything ready. PLUS, there was another woman having a c-section, so I was still waiting. An hour after getting to the hospital I was dilated to 5cm, then in another hour I was 6cm (11:00am), which was when I finally got my epidural. Seriously, that was the best feeling ever! (no, not the IV before or the knowledge that a resident was giving me the epidural) I couldn't imagine not having this!! My heart rate dropped just after, as did Hazel's, so all of a sudden there were, like, 5 extra people in the room working on us. After about 6 minutes, she was fine and everything was good. :)
So, after my miracle drug, I was able to catch a little sleep (as did my marvelous Quenton) and by 1-1:30-ish I was around 8cm. Everything kind of stopped at that point since she was kind of stuck (won't give the details...) but after topping up my epidural and giving me some narcotics and oxytocin, everything started to pick up again. I started pushing around 5:30pm, and after almost exactly 1 hour, Hazel Autumn White was born at 6:23pm, weighing 7lbs 10oz. I was so spent and exhausted and overjoyed that I just cried when they gave her to me. She hardly cried, and she's been so good ever since. She looks a lot like Quenton, and I can't wait to see her change and become her own little person!
This is me after the epidural and not too long before she arrived!

 Here she is!!!!

 This is her almost a week old. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!

 This is us at the hospital the day that we went home. :)

She is such a blessing to our lives. Heavenly Father sure knew when we needed her and when we were ready for her. I have felt so much love in the last 11 days, and absolutely would do anything for this little girl. :) So, that's her story. She is such a good baby, and I love spending time every day with her!

here you go....

so, finally here are some pictures of the nursery. We bought some decals from Babies 'R' Us, and now it looks like a little girl's room! I love it! There's no crib for now, since we're using a cradle that Quenton's grandpa made, but there's room in the nursery for one when we do get it. I'll probably change things after she's here, but at least it's mostly organized for now. :) (hope you enjoy the pictures, Sheri!)

soon.....

so things started happening last night that make me believe that this little girl will be coming on the weekend. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, and loving the idea that my little girl will finally be home! I was thinking that I'd just go for walks with Quenton and the dogs to get things going, but I think just having my doctor's appointment yesterday was enough to kick-start things. I still feel like there are things that I'd still like to do, but I don't think anything can compare to holding our little baby. :)

Oh, and we got some maternity pictures taken on Monday, so here's a few to see. :) Thanks Kim!!!!

thankFUL

so it's been a good/busy weekend :) Quenton has been working 12 hour days, and we had been praying that he'd be able to get this job done before the weekend so we could visit my family and help celebrate my nephew's 1st Birthday. Well, by Thursday we thought that he'd have to work all weekend and we'd miss out on visiting family. Of course things turned out ok, and Quenton got off early Friday and had the whole weekend off. I love how prayers are answered! With Thanksgiving this last weekend, there really was so much for me to be thankful for. My brother-in-law was in a car accident last week, and although he was ok, he was very nearly not ok. His accident had us all thinking how quickly things can change, and how lives can become so different. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father watches out for our loved ones, and even though terrible things can happen, He knows how to comfort and heal us when we need it.
Anyway, my nephew turns 1 today, and his party on Saturday was so fun! I love visiting with family, and even though it was short, it was nice to get away. Happy Birthday, Zachary!
We finally got our maternity shots taken yesterday (photos to follow soon) and, as silly as it may sound, I now feel like this little girl can come anytime. :) I can't imagine how our lives are going to change, but I guess we're going to adjust :) We pretty much have everything we need, so I'm just trying to finish decorating the nursery. I think I'd like to get some blocks to spell out her name to have sitting out on the ledge. I just have to figure out where to get them and how much I want to spend. :) I'm hoping that I'm not overdue, at least not by too much. She'll come when she's ready, so I think I just need to be patient. It's been a good year, and there really are so many things to be thankful for. :)

as of late......

so, Quenton has been working wicked long hours, and I'm ok with it just because it's more $$$ for baby and for our needs. However, I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the little things that I'm trying to accomplish here. I haven't been sleeping very well (typical in pregnancy, I know), so I often feel pretty groggy throughout the day. I've had some really productive days, though, and I felt so good at the end of those days. But, then the next day I see that I again have some dishes to do, more vacuuming, more laundry, organizing, and making lists of things I'd like to buy or do before baby comes, and I feel like it's all never ending. Maybe that's supposed to be normal in pregnancy too, but it makes it a lot harder knowing that there are things that I need to improve upon SPIRITUALLY as well before baby arrives. Where to begin?? Our home teacher talked about reading the Book of Mormon and how wonderful it is, and I was reminded of how infrequent I've been studying. How could I do that??? I need to be a better example for my family, and now's not the time to be slothful.
After talking to Q about testimonies and how now is NOT the time to be a fence-sitter, I wanted more than anything to improve those habits that will help our children know where we stand, and hopefully know where they stand. I like to think that even if we weren't expecting our first baby, that we would still pick up on the seriousness of our own spiritual standing and of those around us.
So, in a nutshell, I feel overwhelmed with the temporal things -cleaning, cooking, organizing- mostly because I don't want to have it all overpower me after the baby comes, and I feel an urgency to improve on my family's spiritual well-being. To repeat myself, where to begin?? I suppose with the temporal things, just doing what I can is sufficient. With the spiritual matters, I need to begin at the beginning. Just the simple steps that we all know of - reading, praying, keeping my testimony strong - is a good place to start. I suddenly feel the urge to preach repentance like in the good ol' mission days, but I'll refrain for now. :)
So, having said all that, I want to start being more domestic and bake more (it's amazing how much you can do when you don't have school and work getting in your way!) and to become the kind of mother mine was to me. I have a long list, and only 20 days to get things in order, but as long as I take the first step, I think everything will be ok. :)

it's Wednesday...

so, it's Wednesday, and I have 2 more days of school. AHHHH! I'm relieved and a little sad about it. I'm relieved because I have 29 days until this baby is due to arrive, and I want to get things ready enough to help me relax. ;)  I'm a little sad because I wanted to be able to continue into the Sign Language Interpreter Program right after. However, our little family is my priority, so having this certificate is a big stepping stone on the path to that goal of mine. :)
so, did I mention that there's 29 days? I remember when I was in the 100's, and it felt like forever before we'd get to this point. I went through her clothes the other day, and I was just picturing holding her all little and cuddly, and it made me lover her EVEN MORE. Is that possible?? You betcha!
also, Church was great on Sunday. I don't know what it was about it, but I love going every Sunday with Quenton. I don't know how many women who have to go alone for whatever reason, but it's one of the best things in my life. Isn't it great that Heavenly Father has this awesome plan where we can have an ETERNAL companion to stand with us, support us, and help us to raise children to love Him, His Son, family, and everything that MEANS something. It's sad when I talk to people around me who miss out on these important principles. I want so badly for them to understand these concepts. Sometimes the best that we can do is to just our best within our own families so they can be the examples the leaders of the Church so often talk about. That's my goal for our children. I haven't always been the best example, but maybe they can make up the difference. :)
AAAAND I can't wait to not have heartburn everyday. I'm  not complaining, but I forget what it's like. ;)

posts, posts......

so I was just reading some blogs to start my morning, and I felt that I needed to put up a new post. However, I realized that I don't often have anything profound to write about. Is my life that boring? Maybe I'm not reading enough books to elighten my life, or maybe I'm not doing enough service to have good experiences to share. Either way, life isn't maybe as enriched or as exciting as I'd like it to be.
oh well!! Maybe when I have time to read a good book, and our little baby is here I might feel more like someone who can be more of a positive influence. I know, that probably sounds lame, but it's hard to feel like you're doing good when you're being pulled in multiple directions. I guess I'll have to master that as a mom. Isn't that what they do? ;) Anyway, to whoever reads this, when you post on your blog insights into your soul, or things that you're passionate about, I read it and feel enlightened. Thanks.

visitor, and the mutts

so, my mom is coming for a few days on Sunday, and I'm pretty excited! We'll be going to Wainwright for the long weekend, then bringing her back. While she's here we'll be cooking meals to freeze for after the baby is born, and sewing receiving blankets, and buying baby stuff, and organizing, and just visiting. She's more of the "let's just get things done" kind of person, where, at the moment, I'm more of a "let's do a bit now, take a nap, and then do a bit later" kind of person. :) It'll be good for her to come here. My mom is amazing. :) She is a baking machine, and has so much good advice for when our little girl is here. I cannot wait to spend some mother-daughter time. I think that it will be good practice. :)
we've also KENNEL TRAINED the dogs!! For those of you who don't have dogs, it's a pretty big/important step for us. They sleep in their kennels at night, and they'll go in there whenever we want some quiet time. They're pretty good outside of the kennel, but I thought it might be nice not having to step over them and having them in the way when the baby is here. Plus, I'm starting to get annoyed about people (the SAME people) asking us if we've decided to keep the dogs or not. When did we ever say that we weren't going to keep them? I love having them as a part of our family, and nothing will change that. :)
so, lots of changes coming up, and I'm excited for all of it. :)

tick tock....

so we're almost at the 8 week mark.... only 2 months left. I'm kind of hoping that she comes early, but everyone tells me that most women are overdue with their first. That's not really what I want to hear, but I know she'll be here before we know it! We've got the nursery painted, and a new dresser put in so it's all coming together. Once everything is where we want it (maybe this weekend) I'll post pics. Having that done makes me feel more in control of things and that we'll have everything ready before our little one comes.
On another note, I have been sick more in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years! I know, I know, my immune system is pretty weak right now, but having/not having strep/viral infections isn't helping me enjoy this pregnancy! :) I do love being pregnant, though. I think I'm going to miss feeling the kicks, stretches, and expecially the hiccups at all hours of the day and night. It'll be worth it, though, to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. :)
There's not much else to tell for now. Quenton has been amazing, as usual, and I know that he'll be even more so once the baby is here. I'm so grateful for him! My feet are starting to swell a little, and he is always willing to rub them whenever I need it. I had to teach Young Women's yesterday and the lesson was on procreation. One of the discussions we had was how being sealed to your "true love" and being on the same page with everything that matters is such a blessing to your family. I couldn't agree more! I know that there are SO many things that we probably aren't expecting, and I'm sure there will be moments of breaking down because I don't feel that I can handle things, but without Quenton's support there is no way that I could make it through any of this. He truly is my rock. :) He even said that he'd do a 10km run with me next summer. What a guy!

life, life, life.....

so, life has definitly moved on since Costa Rica. :)  Our little girl has been moving and kicking me tons, and I love it! I know, I know, soon it'll probably pretty uncomfortable, but I'm enjoying it while I can. :)  We took a quick road trip to Utah at the beginning of July. One of my good friends, Wendy, was getting married, and we didn't want to miss it for anything. I hadn't really thought of the time it would take to drive down and come back, but it didn't matter since Quenton did most of the driving (boy, do I love him!!), we mostly played movies, and we had our super Caravan! It was SO much more comfortable, so it wasn't even a big deal. We drove back most of the way the day after the wedding, and then decided to stop in Cardston to see some friends of ours. I was sick pretty much the whole time, and it's still not toally gone, but what a great trip!
The next big thing we had planned was a WEEK camping with our families. :) The first half of last week was spent with my family camping in Saskatchewan, and the last half of the week was with Quent's family in southern Alberta. The Saturday involved seeing extended family on his mom's side, which was fun too. I'm not a big fan of camping, but I'm loving it more since I get to spend it with Quenton. :) I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! The fact that we'll be bringing our little miracle into the world together makes me appreciate him and love him even more. He loves us so much, and is willing to do anything to make sure we're comfortable.  I still have my ASL classes until the end of September, and I'll probably still work part-time until the middle of that month, so I appreciate every little thing that he does for me.
Bumblebee is going to be coming home in no time, and I'm not going to lie, I have moments of being really nervous and feeling unprepared. We still have a lot to do to get the nursery ready, but we've already got family offering to help, so that helps to take some of the burden.
Life is good. Heavenly Father truly has blessed our lives with good family, great friends, and a little baby that will bless us more than we can comprehend. I think about her everyday, and can't wait to meet her! I am so happy, I can't even contain it!

Costa Rica Pics!

Here's some pictures from our little getaway. :)

One evening sitting on our patio..... it was pretty hot...

A waterfall we saw during our horseback adventure. :)

Quenton and I among some friendly mango trees...

Costa Rica!!!!

so, we did it. :) We've talked about going on a trip ever since we got married, but either didn't have the funds, or the time. We finally got all our ducks in a row, and took the plunge. :) It was so much fun! I loved spending time with Quent, just relaxing, enjoying the sunshine, and not worrying about work, school, anything at all. :) The weather was hot and humid, the water was the perfect temperature, and the wildlife was enchanting! Of course, I got sunburnt the first day, but I got it under control so it didn't ruin my week. :) We took 2 tours, one on Wednesday and the other Friday. Wednesday included horseback riding (which made my mom a little nervous), zip-lining (which I didn't do), and a nice dip in the pool. :) Quenton loved zip-lining! Even if I wasn't pregnant, I don't think I could do it! The horseback riding was fun! I had the oldest horse, who was the slowest horse. His name is Sonto, and he was my favorite! The whole day was great. It was a little exhausting, but worth it. Friday was spent beach hopping and just being relaxed. :) I'll put up pictures soon. :) Now we both feel satisfied that we don't need to take a huge trip for a while, which is good since we probably won't be able to after baby comes!
It's nice to be home and trying to get back into a routine (not that I had too much of one before), but going back to work, studying for exams, and being with the dogs has helped us adjust back. Life is good! Now that we have this trip behind us we can focus on Wendy's wedding, camping with family, and getting things ready for baby! Everything is quickly moving along, and before we know it, October will be here and life won't be the same!

lately......

well, I guess we've been pretty busy lately. :) I had my convocation from college last Friday, which was so fun! Yes, the weather was pretty crappy, but I didn't care. I had my hubby, great friends, and mom and dad with me, so nothing could have dampened my spirits! I should say, however, that I'm not finished with my program yet. I finish September 24th, but I still feel like a graduate! :) I love this program!
We also just booked our trip to Costa Rica!! We fly out on my birthday and arrive home on the 20th. We went shopping today to get somefun summer clothes (I needed to be able to cover this belly of mine!) and we were successful! I cannot wait to go on a trip with Quenton. No distractions, no work, no school, no dogs ;), just sun, sand, and my true love. :) A lady today at the maternity store said that people who take a trip before their baby is born are taking a "babymoon" (which is fine with me, since we didn't really take a honeymoon) :). How fun! Neither of us have ever been to somewhere tropical, so this will be a fun holiday.
Then, next month I'm going to Vegas. :) I know, am I ever going to just stay here? Maybe.... :) I'm going to a Deaf Expo for the experience and the exposure. It will look great in my portfolio, and I get to sign all the time! :)
The dogs are doing well, we're SLOWLY getting things organized here, and time is flying by. Life has been hectic, but in a good way. :)

is anyone there?

so, I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, or if it's just my paranoia of being pregnant, but I've been constantly thinking about this baby and wondering, "are you ok? are you there?". I haven't felt anything yet, and since it's been a lot longer between doctor visits and ultrasounds than before, I start to wonder if there's anything even there! I know, my belly isn't getting any smaller, but I'm the type of person who needs some sort of visual proof, or whatever. We have our ultrasound next week, so that will hopefully ease some of my apprehension. We were wanting to find out the gender, but if that doesn't work it's ok. I have to admit, it's a little frustrating when I talk so some people about whether I'd like a girl or a boy, and after my response the first thing they say is "well, as long as it's healthy. that's what matters." Do you think that I don't care about that? Seriously, if you want to know what I'm hoping for, give me a little credit. Of course I want a healthy baby! That should go without saying. It's mostly the "older" generation who say this, but it's still annoying.
Anyway, I just had a girl at school yesterday tell me that she didn't know that I was pregnant until she read my shirt ("a little baby grows a long way"). I didn't really know how to feel about that. :) Oh well! :)
Life has been pretty good. We finally got the livingroom organized this weekend. :) It's actually starting to feel "homey". Now all we have to do is clean out the office to make room for the nursery. :) It's a good feeling when things start to come together little by little. :)

on my mind......

so, I was debating on whether to post this, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while. I LOVE having time to myself, to just relax, rest, spend time with the dogs, you know, have a break. This break, however, has been a little too long. I hate being alone. Yes, I know, the dogs are here, and I'm not really by myself, but I can't really have a meaningful conversation when there's no response. I know that it could be as easy as just going for a walk, or calling someone up, but sometimes it's not. On top of all that, when I feel lonely, I'm not as productive as I'd like to be. I read blogs of other girls I know who are wives and moms, and I think, "wow. they are amazing wives. they are amazing moms." I don't feel like I fit that category. There's so much to do before this baby comes, and some days it's very overwhelming. BUT, having said all this, I have made a resolution to accomplish one big task (may seem small at the time) every day. Am i miles behind every other wife? Probably. Quenton might not always come home to a meal all ready cooked and dished out on a plate for him, but he knows I love him more than anything. He really is the most important person in my life. I'm sure some of you have asked yourselves how you landed such a great husband, and I fall into that same category. Why did he choose me? whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. We're starting a family soon, and I couldn't ask for a better husband and father. Wow, this post started out dreary, but it's ended on a happier note. :) Life is actually pretty good! :) I finished my communications class a couple weeks ago, so that has aleviated some stress in my life. My ASL classes are WONDERFUL, and although they keep me pretty busy, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Anyway, one thing I was thinking of starting (to be a little more domestic) is collecting some recipes from friends. I know there are emails, and some facebook sites, and a friend of mine has a blog with crafts and recipes, but if you have any fun, easy recipes you wouldn't mind sharing, I promise to make it and let you know how it turns out. :)
Thanks for listening. :)

expansion....

so, here are a couple pictures. I love my belly! I would NEVER in a MILLION years say that any other time, but it's a home to one of my favorite people right now, and that makes it worth everything. I am SO excited to meet this little one, and I still have about 162 days left! There's a lot to do before that happens, but I want to make sure I take the time to just enjoy every minute of this. I've been pretty lucky that this pregnancy has been relatively smooth. Even if it weren't, I'd be grateful. Heavenly Father has blessed Quenton and I so much, just with eachother, and I am overflowing with gratitude and joy that our little family is growing. Does He know us? Of course He does! Does He know what we need, when we need it? Absolutely. :) Life is so great, and I can't wait for what's to come.

thoughts.....

So I've been wanting to take some belly shots, but feel a little self-conscious about it. Not that I'm showing a lot, but I wasn't exactly paper thin when I got pregnant like some women so I had a bit of a belly to start with. I can't tell how much I'm showing, but Quenton says that I am, and my mom says that I am, so maybe it's true. :) So, I guess this week's project will be to take some pictures and post them. we'll see...... ;)
Quenton has been home for almost 2 weeks now, and I am LOVING it!! It's so nice to see him when he gets home from work, and to have him here on the weekends. I didn't have to go to Church alone either, so that was nice. I've been thinking a lot about how our lives are going to change in the next 5-6 months. I'm totally exhausted now, and that won't change, I'm sure. :) I welcome all the new changes, appealling or less appealing. A friend of mine had a baby recently and it got me thinking about what it will be like to know that "it's time", and to actually be in the hospital, thinking about everything. It's a little overwhelming to think about, but exciting at the same time. :)
Life is good. I'm relaxing, enjoying time with Q, and getting ready to change everything for our little bumblebee. Can't get any better than that, right?

back.....

So, Quenton is finally home. :) Life feels so normal now, and since we have SO many things to do before baby comes, it's nice to have another set of hands to do the heavy lifting! On Friday we did a little shopping where I got some new clothes, we picked up some groceries, and then we started to do a little organizing. Saturday we went to Ikea to pick up a laptop desk and a fun shoe rack. I've decided that unless we absolutely need to, I want to have our OWN things. We still have a few hand-me-downs from family, but I'm slowly getting rid of them to make way for our new family and to help our place feel like our home. Our next purchases will be dressers, a crib, stroller with a car seat, and any other things our little one may need. We bought some pictures of white lilacs from ikea as well, to put in the kitchen. It looks more inviting now, and with a couple other pictures up in the livingroom, I finally feel comfortable thinking of staying here for a year or two. I feel like breathing a huge sigh of relief. sigh.

beautiful.....

so tonight I went to an event at the Alberta School for the Deaf for my ASL class. It was a movie about a deaf man (Andy) who was plagued by his past, and who had to cope with ignorant people (both deaf and hearing) before he met a kind, sweet woman (Mary) who made the effort to get to know him, understand him, and reach out to him. Although it was a little slow at the beginning, I really enjoyed how Mary was so patient with him, and gave him space when he needed it, but pushed him to open up when he needed that also. In one part of the movie, they went to church where the priest was talking about "The Prodigal Son". One thing that he mentioned was that it should have been named "The Forgiving Father", which stuck a chord with me. I think that we sometimes see ourselves as the wayward child, going through the experience of facing our mistakes, our problems, and humbling ourselves before those we love. But, have we really put ourselves in the position of the parent? We don't necessarily need to be a mother or father, but have we so openly welcomed someone back into our lives after past transgressions, or fault, being willing to forgive unconditionally? I struggle with that. It's difficult to forgive OR forget, nevermind forgive AND forget. At least with me, it is. Wounds take time to heal, but I suppose it's not something that will happen without work on my part. Perhaps humility is a struggle for me as pride is a struggle.
Anyway, there was a happy ending to the movie, and it made me remember why I love what I'm doing. Slowly, life seems to be falling into place. :)

our little bumblebee.....

here he/she is :) only 12.5 weeks old, and moving like a salsa dancer!

in the clear.... I think....

So, after seeing my doctor yesterday, everything is fine. :) I have to go for a blood test still, but that's just to give me more peace of mind. Man, this baby is already taking me on a rollercoaster ride! On another note, Quenton is home. :) I was hoping it was for good, but he has to go back next week. He wants to stay for the ultrasound on Tuesday, which makes me so happy! It'll be nice for him to see bumblebee for the first time. :)
So, only positive thinking from here on! I've been pretty good, so I have great expectations for the next 6 months. :) I do need to say a big THANK YOU to great friends and family. I know that some people wonder why we want to tell people so early that we're pregnant, and to keep all these things to ourselves, but I find it easier to deal with a good support system, so thanks again. :) Life is good!

worried?

So, I noticed on Friday that I was spotting a bit, and started to worry. I called Healthlink and the nurse said that without cramping and extensive bleeding, I should just monitor things for 72 hours and see my doctor in a few days. Nothing has "stopped", but it's not getting worse, so I'm thankful for that. I'm confident that everything will be ok, but it's hard to not think that things are going to turn out the way they did the first time, but I also need to remember that this is a blessing. Whatever happens is supposed to happen. My friend's father passed away recently, and as I was reading her blog entries, I was so impressed by her faith. Trials, no matter how big they may seem, can try us until we feel we will break. I suppose that is when we must kneel to receive the support we need. I pray that things will work out the way we want, but whatever is the Lord's will is what I'll accept. This beautiful baby is ours, and for however long it may be, I will love it always. :)

relief.....

So, I had an ultrasound yesterday and I was a little nervous. I don't have the best track-record with ultrasounds, so I think that warrants a little uneasiness. I was in the room, and the whole time the tech was taking pictures I was on the edge of my seat. When she left to take the pictures to the doctor, I felt a bit easier. My sister-in-law, Renee, was able to come in since Quenton wasn't here, and we both got to see little bumblebee, kickin' and movin' away! It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen! After that I felt pretty confident that everything was going to be ok. I had a doctor appointment today, and she verified that everything was good, bumblebee and me too, so now I have no worries whatsoever. :) NOW, all the excitement and emotion of knowing that we'll be bringing a new life into the world is here, and it's pretty overwhelming! I LOVE this baby! I can't believe how much I love it!
I've been more emotional than usual the last month or so, so now that this apprehension is gone, I'm pretty sure I'll be a complete wreck. I LOVE IT!!!

finally......

So, it only took us 14 months, but we are pregnant again! :) It was a total surprise! We were on fertility meds up until about November, then we took a break to see if my cycle would go back to normal. It didn't, so I had set up an appointment to talk to my doctor, to see if I needed to start the fertility regiment again. I happened to have an extra pregnancy test lying around, so the morning of the day I was supposed to have my doctor appointment I took the test. I was alone at the time, with Quenton being in Weyburn, so when I saw the "+", I just walked around the house saying "Oh, my gosh" about 10 times, looked for the camera to take a picture for Quenton, and then tried to figure out what to do next. :) I ended up sending a picture to Quenton's phone and he was SO excited!! Anyway, I went for an ultrasound to figure out how far along I was, and at that point I was about 7 1/2 weeks. I'm almost 11 weeks now, and even though I've been feeling lousy, I'm grateful for everything I'm going through. :) It's really fun thinking of names, planning the nursery, buying a new VAN, which I love, by the way, and just thinking to the future. It's a little scary, you know, thinking of myself as being a mom, but I'll adjust. I know Quenton will be the best dad ever. :)

Yup, 2010 is going to be a good year.

alone.

so, I am now going to be spouseless for the next 2 months (on and off). Quenton has to work over in Saskatchewan, and will be working 10 days on, 4 days off. He left yesterday morning and I was so sad. :( I even cried at work, which was not my best moment. I'm lucky because this week he's only gone until Thursday, since it's the end of the shift, but then he leaves again on Monday and he's gone for TEN days. I don't know how women I know do this. I hate it. There are so many things that I don't like about it. I have chosen NOT to get used to this because this is only temporary. I will do what I can to keep distracted and hopefully these two months will go by quickly.
Anyway, I miss him. I can't wait for him to come home. He's my favorite.

love.

so I realized that absence really makes the heart grow fonder. Q is at work, I'm at home, and my heart is sad that he's not here. Is that "high school" enough for you? I literally can't get enough of him. When he's here, I want to be near him ALL the time, and when he's gone, I can't think about much except how I love him. Especially now that we've been sealed in the Temple, thinking about being with him forEVER makes my hear skip a beat. :) He is so kind and thoughtful, I really don't think there's anyone like him. I KNOW there's no one better than him, that's for sure. We recently took a road trip to Utah and I loved being able to spend every moment with him! Are you tired of me talking about the love of my life yet? ha ha, well when you've got the best, it's hard not to gloat.

interesting night......

so I just wanted to post this quick little blurb about this evening's happenings. My shift at work was supposed to be from 4pm-8pm. I was mostly just organizing the shelves because of inventory coming up. I ended up helping only one person. He was a teen looking for some narcotics. He told me that he had a gun in his back pocket and that he needed the drugs. We are trained to give them what they ask for because it's not worth making them upset and causing problems. I went to our safe to get the meds, and grabbed a note pad to write "boy has gun" on it to show my boss (who was working at the time). He ended up giving the guy what he had asked for, the guy left, the cops were called, and that was kind of the end of it. I thought I'd cry because of the intensity of the situation, but I just needed to take a moment to myself to calm down. I was shaking a bit, but I was definitly feeling better when I left the store than I am now. I'm fine, but I can't sleep. It wasn't that bad of a situation, but who can know how they'd react in a situation like that? I think the best we can do is just prepare the best we can, and in my opinion, make sure to have the guidance of the Spirit and protection from Heavenly Father. I'm grateful that it wasn't worse than it was, and am glad for people around me who are quick to think on their feet. Moments like this help me to be more grateful for all that I have.

Sealing Pictures

long time a-comin'......

So, here's some pictures from when we were sealed. I actually had bought a new dress, but apparently wanted to cover it up with my purple coat. :S oh well, it apparently didn't matter at the time!

just outside the Temple..... yeah, it was a pretty happy day. :)

sure love this guy!

think he loves me too.... :)

Again, thanks for all your well wishes and prayers for us. We wouldn't be here without such wonderful friends and family!